New Hearing Aid Allows Liberals to Hear Arguments for Concealed Carry

New Hearing Aid Allows Liberals to Hear Arguments for Concealed Carry

Posted by Harvey

Huh… I see a little David Hogg shaking his fist at me…

NEW YORK (AP) – In a startling medical breakthrough, researchers have developed a hearing aid that will finally allow liberals to actually hear the words other people say when they argue for political positions that liberals disagree with, such as supporting the nationwide trend toward more freedom-friendly concealed carry laws.

“We used to think liberals were just too dumb to realize that mass shootings don’t stop until a someone else with a gun shows up,” said lead developer Hunter Colton, “but new research shows that it’s a simple, correctable medical condition – a sporadic physical disconnect in their middle ear. Our new device – dubbed the ‘LibEarty’ – bridges that gap and allows both words and their meanings to penetrate into the subjects’ brains. Sorta like that connection that happens when you call your kid’s name for the fifth time and he finally looks at you.”
“It’s a miracle!” said LibEarty recipient and Sanders supporter Sunshine Rainbow Jones. “Used to be that when those flyover-country cowboys would talk guns, all I’d hear is something like ‘second dependent’, “flight to bear farms”, or “klaatu barada nikto”. Made no sense. But now I can actually hear them explain that self-defense is a basic human right. THAT I totally get. It’s like free healthcare and free college.”
Researchers are still working on a device that will allow liberals to differentiate between rights and entitlements.
“That’s a toughie,” said Colton. “Like trying to explain the difference between ‘scarlet’ and ‘crimson’ to a St. Bernard or a man.”

*********

(TLB) published this article from IMAO with our appreciation for news of this break through in technology and liberalism. 

About IMAO  (In My Arrogant Opinion) is a humorous blog started by me, Frank J., back on July 9th, 2002. It is a funny website that is mainly about politics because politics is funny. If you do not find this blog funny, then obviously you are reading it wrong because many other people find it funny. There may, in fact, be something wrong with you. You should have a doctor look at you to make sure it’s not fatal.

If you are not dying of a humor-inhibiting disease, then you should find much happiness from reading IMAO. A good place to start is the essay Nuke the Moon which is one of IMAO’s most popular pieces. Then you can check out what’s on the front page which is updated multiple times daily by me or the other IMAO bloggers. You can also have fun looking through the archives (listed on the right sidebar) or Google search (left sidebar) for a particular topic. There’s so much humor on IMAO that it seems extremely stupid to offer it all for free, but lucky for you we are very stupid.

Have fun!

••••

The Liberty Beacon Project is now expanding at a near exponential rate, and for this we are grateful and excited! But we must also be practical. For 7 years we have not asked for any donations, and have built this project with our own funds as we grew. We are now experiencing ever increasing growing pains due to the large number of websites and projects we represent. So we have just installed donation buttons on our websites and ask that you consider this when you visit them. Nothing is too small. We thank you for all your support and your considerations … (TLB)

••••

Comment Policy: As a privately owned web site, we reserve the right to remove comments that contain spam, advertising, vulgarity, threats of violence, racism, or personal/abusive attacks on other users. This also applies to trolling, the use of more than one alias, or just intentional mischief. Enforcement of this policy is at the discretion of this websites administrators. Repeat offenders may be blocked or permanently banned without prior warning.

••••

Disclaimer: The Liberty Beacon contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available to our readers under the provisions of “fair use” in an effort to advance a better understanding of political, health, economic and social issues. The material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving it for research and educational purposes. If you wish to use copyrighted material for purposes other than “fair use” you must request permission from the copyright owner.

••••

Follow TLB on Twitter @thetlbproject

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*