Joseph Did You Know We’re All Gonna Ride The Train?

Joseph Did You Know We’re All Gonna Ride The Train?

Commentary: Bill the Butcher

Sometimes when an idea pops up it takes on a life of its own. So it was with the founder of the Mormon faith on that hill long ago. Joseph Smith could not possibly have known how far his ideas would go when he concocted his story of the angel. The idea of golden tablets, Egyptian texts, magic glasses, all blend a story that is, frankly, extraordinary. This article is going to be a mixture of theology, psychology, and just a little common sense, but with a large dose of empathy. You must understand that most people are followers. A few lead. Humanity has to be this way if anything is going to get done. In religion your faith is divinely inspired, and everybody else is evil. Everyone has “the truth.”

“And Pilate said unto Him, ‘What is truth?” For humans, truth is whatever you perceive it to be right up until that final breath when you suddenly realize you might have been just a little wrong. God is truth. God is truth because He is the creator, and if he says, “Be,” then it IS. The Quran says Allah said, “Be!” And it was. When Jesus fed the five thousand He did the same thing. “Be!” Five thousand orders of Long John Silvers. Not counting women and children. Man can’t do that, but man has a way of saying “truths” over and over, and after a while it becomes man’s truth. . . right up ‘till that final breath.

Joseph Smith had truths. Now, like Juan says, “I ain’t even gonna lie to you,” there weren’t any tablets in the woods. Swat them bees. Now, when you say that to Mormons, they go spastic. I’ve seen them retreat, claiming the tablets were brass, may even have been copper, and the sheets were paper thin. There was no gold in Palmyra, New York except somewhere in the banks in Beverly Hills in somebody else’s name, but there was treasure in the mind of a small boy, and maybe, just maybe, there was an incredible occurrence on that hill.

Inspiration is organic. God doesn’t come down and seize the hand of the writer of religious material. He filters it through the human psyche. When I wrote “Sharon” there were some people who claimed that I was inspired. Nope. Just made it up. That’s what a writer does. But if my words light a fire in someone’s mind, who’s to say that’s not a form of inspiration.

Mormons holding onto the golden tablets are like Catholics holding onto the Shroud of Turin. Hey, I was one of those. They ran that bathrobe through radiocarbon and it came back bananas. I read all the theories, came up with one myself, sorry, no shroud! People constantly grasp for the tangible to prove the intangible. Theology is man’s feeble attempt to explain the unexplainable. Jesus told us that no sign would be given. Don’t base your faith on parlor tricks. Verily, Verily, I say unto thee, if thou art perplexed, thou understandith not the trick, and it’s all tricks, folks. I followed behind a Catholic “mystic” like a puppy, and she wasn’t anything more than a Tarot Card reader in short shorts. (Never said I was a prophet, people.)

Have you ever written a book? Let me tell you, I have, and let me tell you about it. It starts with a single line, and then, as the story develops, it evolves, and actually writes itself. A good storyteller can weave a spell. Joseph Smith was such a storyteller. It doesn’t matter if he made it up, stole it from some Presbyterian minister, or just found it in a jug of moonshine, the fact remains that he did not transcribe anything from any golden tablets, but he did start something that he, himself had no control over.

Does that nullify the Church of Latter-Day Saints? Certainly not. Religion comes in two parts. The religion, and the culture that it generates. When a religion begins, it is a simple idea, but if it lasts it becomes a “theology.” Theology is refined by “theologians.” Once these guys get involved, you’re just screwed. The inspiration, and vision of the founder has long since dissipated, and it must be “revived” or explained, or, God forbid, canonized.

That’s where you get holy underwear, funny little hats on Jews, and weird people kissing snakes in Arkansas. Each religion judges these truths by what they believe to be true, i.e. the Mormons can’t have a real temple because only the Jews than have one. Who said? I have seen the Temple in Salt Lake City, and it looked pretty holy for me!

So, how do you judge a religion? By the culture that proceeds from it, that’s how. Look at Islam, the “religion of peace.” Yeah yeah yeah I heard all about Mountain Meadows, but I also heard about the Mormons getting burned out time and time again, finally fleeing to a salty lake in the desert. They didn’t try to take anything from America, they divorced America! Then, they built a culture that frankly works, magic underwear and all! It was all a lot of fun to burn them out in New York, Illinois and Missouri, but when the attackers of the LDS Church came barreling over the Wasatch Mountains and Porter Rockwell was waiting on the other side it was a whole different critter. Nothing like a good ol’ country butt stomping to make you more tolerant of other cultures, huh? I learned a lesson from C. J. Grisham. When you strap on an Ar-15, and stand up, the fat boys all fall down and pray. There’s a truth for you!

I’ve seen all the writing on how ex-Mormons “expose” the church, but the fact of the matter is, they couldn’t make it, while millions of others did. Does that make Mormonism true? Nah, no truer than any other man-made religion. God made man, man made religion, and religion made theology. Now write that down. There’s gonna be one hell of a quiz when you die. I hear all the stuff about how bad Mormonism is, but some people need patterns in their lives. Have you ever seen a bunch of kids playing Pokémon? I once made a video showing three little boys playing that, all from different cultures, but the rules of the game transcended the ethnic differences.

Religion is like that. That’s that “God Hole” I talk about. Man seeks organization, conformity, and answers. All religions put forth theories that seem ridiculous to the outsider. Know them by their fruits. If Mormonism doesn’t work for you then leave. Become a Hari Krishna or something else, or just make up your own.

Recently, I took a trip to Salt Lake City. I saw railroad tracks running down the middle of the street, and I asked my host if they were still used. I was told that they most certainly were were! Infact, they ran up around the Great Salt Lake, and people used them every day commuting to work. Then I got my first glimpse of the Salt Lake Temple. On the way back to Brigham City I observed the industry all up and down the I-15 corridor for sixty miles or so. Industry built by a people who came here with nothing but a Book of Mormon, one crazy old man who was tired of getting burned out every time he prayed, and a salty lake. Something came to my mind. Just what did he farm boy find on that hill so long ago?

There is no way Joseph Smith could have known what would become of his Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I don’t know if he ever discussed the Great Salt Lake during his life, but the movement he began evolved into that industry I observed along the 15 that afternoon.

That’s no accident! That is a culture that works for most of its members. I’ve heard that LDS people are not Christian or follow “another Jesus.” You wanna see anti-Christ? Look at most of the so-called churches that while professing Jesus, completely forget His principles while they’re tallying up the donations. When ISIS comes,they’ll come for all of us. Those temples in Utah will look a lot holier then.

“And the woman fled into the wilderness, where she hath a place prepared of God that they should feed her there a thousand two hundred and two hundred and sixty days.”

When I thought of this, I remembered how the Mormon people came to the defense of my Gentile grandchildren, I looked at the mountains running along the freeway and I wondered, “Joseph did you know we’s all gonna ride the train?”

There is currently a big hub Bubb going on in this country about the rights of the “immigrants” presently spilling over our borders. I’d like to ask about rights in several Middle Eastern countries. Christians are regularly singled out for persecution in devoutly Muslim nations. Jihad has a definitive course of action which employs using the laws of the host nation against that nation until the percentage of Muslims becomes large enough to control the host, and then the rules become a bit more “fundamental” to accommodate the interpretation of the Imāms to the embarrassment of the everyday believers. Verily verily I say unto you, these Imāms know about as much about the Quran as Joel Osteen knows about the Bible! You can have your prophet of your choice. He who has ears, let him hear.

With all the talk about coming to America to be free the goal is not so much to assimilate as to dominate, subvert, and destroy until the host nation becomes part of the huge Caliphate they imagine will eventually dominate the world.

Americans protesting, need to examine their motives. The women screaming about the poor immigrants need to go to Saudi Arabia in a bikini and see how that works out for them. “But,” you say, “They want to be free of all that, too!” That’s why they’re HERE! Then I say, take off that silly costume, put on some boots and jeans, and BE American! Why do you want to perpetuate the very system that you SAY drove you here in the first place.

People say they’re not all bad, and that may be true, but how many poisoned M&Ms do you need in a bowl before you come to the conclusion that eating from THAT bowl might not be such a good idea?

There are lots of sci-fi films about time travel. Shucks! We already have it. The radical Muslims have devised a way to get all the way back to the seventh century! The job of stemming the tide of radical Islam is not going to be easy. That camel has been running free for a long time, but it can be done! America IS a Christian nation. And an Islamic nation. And a Jewish nation. And a Great Spaghetti Monster nation. From the Protestant Pilgrims to the Spanish Priests, to the Mormon Prophets, some kind of understanding of Jesus has been the central factor in the civilization of this continent. And you’re still worried about Golden Tablets.

And, maybe, technically, there may be some semicolon in the constitution that allows for Drag Queen Story hour in libraries, or bearded men in little girls’ restrooms, but technically you can drive a nail through glass, too! Just try it sometime.

For the so-called “thousands” protested President Trump’s embargo on people coming here from the“Death to America” Middle East, there are MILLIONS of us who cheered him on. We don’t have their kind of mindset here. Porter Rockwell couldn’t hold a candle to Osama Bin Forgotten. So save your stocks and bonds boys, the Trump will rise again!

You will see the day when some woman dressed in a burqua will be very uncomfortable shopping in an American supermarket. But, in that same store Japanese, Mexican, and even Russian visitors will have no problem at all. Remember the very first spoken line in the movie, “The Godfather?” “I’m proud to be an American!”

THAT’S a real immigrant. THAT’S the real tired, poor, yearning to be free, NOT some insurrectionist bent on destroying the very civilization that welcomed him with open arms.

We didn’t pick this fight. We are just playing by the rules THEY set. Their world view will not fit in the 21st century. Matter of fact, their world view won’t fit in China, Russia, England, or the North Pole. My granddaughter, Puck informs me that Santa Claus lives there, and that Santa Claus is a MORMON!

Joseph did you know . . .

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