Life, Liberty, & the Pursuit of Whatever You Can Steal

Life, Liberty, & the Pursuit of Whatever You Can Steal

By: Bill the Butcher

Everyone has the right to pursue their happiness. But not at the expense of mine! Back in the day people got rich by contributing something. A train system, a concert hall, a soft drink . . . SOMETHING! The modern billionaire has contributed nothing. Electric cars, strange ideas about housing on Mars, and let us not forget, trying to go down to view the Titanic in a bathtub. What could possibly go wrong? Most of the new fangled fat cats get their wealth from clever manipulation of government contracts. Even that fat guy in Russia supposed to be a general. He’s a chef! Financed by Putin. Spent all Putin’s money like an ex-wife!

Bill Gates? Stole his idea from the real innovator, Steve Jobs. And Windows doesn’t work right yet! The last real American was Col. Sanders, and they screwed up his chicken. Woke chicken! Jesus Christ sitting next to God Almighty waiting on us to show up naked.

America is not done, but it’s close. The only Joker in the deck is our choice of language. Will it be English, Spanish, or Chinese? Everyone is too concerned with being different to see that we’re all the same. We may have come over on different boats, but we’re in the same boat now! And the world’s trying to sink us.

How does this fit the premise of this article? Well, I’ll tell you. People are inspired when they are rewarded for their efforts. People want that reward to reflect their efforts. It makes people mad when someone doesn’t work and gets the same reward they get after they brave Austin traffic to take calls all day.

We are Americans and the world hates us. But everybody still wants to get next to a “Happening Guy!” Do you wanna know what runs the world? The dollar! That’s what! Russia, China, San Salvador? All marbles and chalk. Hard to conquer the world when your monetary unit is worth less than a nickel. Why do you think we have an immigration problem? Because everyone there wants to be here! Steaks are more nutritious than tacos.

But other nations try to rest on their “history.” Their history? Let’s look at an example. Russia has failed in its proposed attempt to redraw its borders. Don’t you wanna know why? Because they are a twentieth century country fighting a twenty-first century war, that’s why! They are being beat by a bunch of meth cooks led by a tap dancing comedian. The Ukrainians are selling their tanks for scrap! That’s what meth heads do! General Walter White is winning that war! And Putin threatening nuclear war? Zelenskyy is flying drones around the Kremlin for God’s sake.

Russia has never won, or will never win a war without help. The biggest revision of history is the Russian effort to rewrite World War II. They take credit for the defeat of Hitler while completely ignoring Patton, Eisenhower, Montgomery, Bradley, and The Mormon Tabernacle Choir who “distracted” Der Führer as he was eating Russia’s lunch with an side order of chicken fried Jews. Did that wake your Woke butt up? Do the math!

How does all this tie into the cluster fornication we find ourselves in today? There are two kinds of people in the world, Tuco! Those who follow the ideas stemming from The Magna Carta all the way to our constitution and those who follow the ideas of some crazy Kraut who penned Das Kapital. And the latter almost lost his book deal by procrastinating to the point where his publisher almost gave the project to somebody else! Das is Kapital! Them that gots, gets! If he didn’t produce, he wouldn’t make no money! He was playing by the very rules he was ranting against. And if that’s not capitalism I’m not a white boy from Austin!

There are three rules of life

  • Money buys everything
  • People are no damn good
  • And if you nail two things together that have never been nailed together before you will get rich!

Being prosperous is not a sin. Being greedy is a sin. The vulgar amassing of wealth is greed. I, Me, Mine! Keep it all and forget about the rest. To a certain extent we are our brother’s keeper. Our job is to at least keep our brothers fed and out of the street. We can’t do that right now. Ask yourself this: How do we have so many homeless veterans and so many foreclosed VA funded homes? You have to dance with the ones who brung you. You do that with a viable economy, not “trade agreements” with very people seeking to destroy you. The theory was that if an industrialist got rich making widgets that he’d build more factories to make more widgets. Not fly to Mars and try to raise tomatoes! Trickle down economics became pee on the backs of the American people and the politicians keep telling us it’s raining.

America was founded upon the proposition that all men are created equal. Unfortunately, they become not equal right after the doctor cuts the cord. Some end up in Westminster and some go to Watts. The Bible said the poor will always be with us. It also says that those who will not work should not eat. And boy are the poor with us. Lyndon Johnson gave us The Great Society and they’ve been getting greater every year. We have progressed from a few Food Stamps to Reparations. Paying people for something that happened generations ago that they had absolutely nothing to do with.

And they call it Being Woke! Not long ago I championed a singing family from Alabama. All kids, girls and boys, who are very good at the Bluegrass style. Their band name was The Cotton Pickin’ Kids, a name stemming from someone calling them to the stage at a county fair saying, “Where are them Cotton Pickin’ Kids?” Well, wouldn’t you know it, someone took exception to the words Cotton Pickin’! Their logic was that such terminology invoked images of slavery, oppression, and Aunt Jemima Syrup. Never mind that the only cotton to offended party had ever picked was an Arrow shirt out of his closet, he was Woke, by God, and he had to brand these little “racists” so their music could not be heard. At that time the little band from Alabama was seriously considering a name change. Not because of any political reasons, but because as they aged they simply weren’t kids anymore. And, they think they represent the New South. The band name was so last year. Long story short they kept the name and are touring as we speak. God bless ‘Murica!

Like the Cotton Pickin’ Kids, all are created equal. Equal to pursue their dreams, and ambitions to the fullest of their v abilities. Or not! Not sitting on top of the mountain can be a choice, too. I had a friend. He had been an ace employee of Southwest Airlines until one day he caught his wife with a boyfriend. So, he asked himself, “Why am I doing this to myself?” With that, he bought a tent, moved to Stillhouse Hollow Lake in Bell County, Texas, and joined the homeless community. He became a good friend. He was my Jerimiah the Bullfrog. And I helped him drink his wine. One day I told him I had a shed full of odds and ends, and for him to go get anything he needed for his tent. He came out with a small hand mirror. I told him he could take anything he needed to which he told me that a hand held mirror was all he lacked in life. He died and left me his BB gun. But, I think my friend had it all figured out. I should be so rich.

Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Any time a few billionaires can hold the power to affect the lives of all the rest of us it becomes absolute corruption. Any time a little girl cannot walk to the playground safely your society has failed. Any time three percent (or less) of your population can tell you where to pee your society has failed, and any time the “Haves” have different rules than the “ Have Nots” of your society you need to change your society! Be alert! The world needs more Lerts!


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