The Baptism Of Woody

The Baptism Of Woody  

Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.

Commentary by: Bill the Butcher 

Old soldiers never die, they just disappear at the V.A. Woody was disappearing at the Veteran’s Hospital in Temple, Texas. The hospital staff, under the direction of countless Democrat administrations, would stick their head into his room once or twice a day to see if he was dead yet. They brought his food, if you could call it that, and a doctor would drop in each day to give the appearance of medical care.

Vets were led into the illusion of the government care provided by the VA was “the best in the world” when in reality they got better care from a medic on a battlefield. But it looked good to the public. Not good enough for Congress to correctly fund the hospital but “adequate.”

Woody was dying. Vietnam didn’t kill him. Diabetes didn’t kill him. Cancer didn’t kill him. The VA was killing him! And it was taking its time.

Woody had read his Bible until he was blue in the face, and never really understood it. He could articulate the words, but they were just words written by men, not God that led or mislead he, and others down through the centuries as all believers waited for Jesus to return and set all the churches straight. Not their church but all those heretics out there that misinterpreted the Bible. The King James Bible. “The only Bible God ever wrote.” And not one jot or tittle will be missed. Nor any sinners who did not belong to the First WhatEVER Church and Hamburger Bar founded by the Right Reverend Isa C. Me back in 1952! Not Jesus, and certainly not the Catholics because everyone knows that Catholics prayed to the Devil.

Now Woody was facing his mortality. . . and his sins. For all have sinned, and if you were seventy years old you damn sure sinned and sinned twice on Sunday for good measure. Throw in a war and you’re pretty much on your way to hell in a hand basket, or a jeep, whichever the case may be. And for all his Bible thumping Woody knew that he was standing on shaky ground condemned, reading the writing on the wall and the story wasn’t good!

And his sins weighed heavily on him. Sins are not crimes. Crimes in all their structured formality of severity are in man’s court. Sins are in God’s court. You either did it, or you didn’t. A lie or a murder. All on a stain on the soul in the eyes of God. And the solution is simple. Take the medicine or take the fire. The medicine is free. The alternative is priceless. You never stop paying.

And Woody was paying now. Why had he done the things he’d done. People do things during the passion of youth that they would never consider in old age. What made perfect sense in days gone by is beyond understanding in the final day. When the concept of eternity looms like the headsman’s axe. Jesus said the Kingdom of God is within. But that fire is within you too. The universe is set up like that. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every blessing there is a damnation. If you are smart you take the medicine. If you are not you take the fire. It’s within you. It’s your fire. You lit it. If it flames up or smolders out is up to you. It can burn you or its ashes can fertilize the garden God gave you at birth. You could have seen the garden had you only looked.

And Woody was looking for that garden that day at the VA. All bets were off. Time to count the chips. He was counting his chips when his son in law came into the room. The two had never agreed on anything. His son in law, in his arrogance believed his church would save him. Woody, at his age and situation knew that was folly. But he couldn’t reach him. His son in law, for all his piety was still in the world while Woody was leaving it with his sins.

The two talked for a while. Nothing of importance until Woody made a request. He wanted to be baptized. This surprised the younger man. He couldn’t believe that after all their religious arguments Woody had not been dunked. And besides that, how could he do it now? The time was growing precariously short and there was no baptismal font in this “separation of church and state” situation they found themselves in at the moment. It was looking like Woody was going to check out as one of the great unwashed. So the son in law called his priest.

The Father explained that a sprinkle was all that was required and the son in law was a Eucharistic Minister so he was capable of administering the rite. He found his way back to the bedside and explained to Woody. Then he cleaned the Styrofoam coffee cup beside the bed, filled it with water from the pitcher and asked Woody if he was sorry for his sins. The old man did not take this lightly as he affirmed his anguish for a lifetime of girding himself and going where he wilt. Dipping his fingers into the cup he let a few drops fall on Woody’s head. The Holy Spirit descended on Woody and took him home a few hours later.

Did the baptism “take?” Was Woody’s soul “Washed in the blood of the Lamb?” We can only surmise. What we do know is that one old man left this world believing his debt was paid. The Kingdom of God is with you. Someday we all have to tally the bill. Woody had his reckoning. I think he did OK.

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