The Center Of A Self Centered World

The Center Of A Self Centered World

Commentary/Satire by: Bill the Butcher

Imagine a world, if you will, where nobody cares about anyone else’s affairs. A world where the rule is all for none and none for all. The epitome of the Woke generation where left is right, right is left, and sideways is straight ahead.

After Cain murdered his brother Abel, God asked him where his brother was, and Cain answered: “I know not; am I my brother’s keeper?”

I just love it when someone quotes the Bible out of context. There are several problems with the first Jewish lawsuit. First, if God is omnipotent why did He even have to ask, and two if He was omnipresent where was He?

But, returning to the case, Cain was making a defense that has been brought down through the years known as the “I wasn’t wid dem brothas (or brother in the case of Cain.) At any rate God already knew because He’d already noticed Abel hanging around Heaven. And the Creater told Gabriel, “Well, there goes the neighborhood!”

So the theological question, ignoring all the parameters is: Are we ultimately responsible for others? Well, it depends upon how big of a sucker you are. No good deed shall go unpunished. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he will sue you the first time he sticks himself with a hook.

Consider this. When you commit a sin, or crime, are you really sorry, or just afraid of getting caught? If you double rang something at Walmart and security didn’t catch you, would you not enjoy the fruits of your labor? Oh, sorry, a double ring is where you take two like items, stack them on top of each other and run them across the scanner at the self-checkout effectively hiding the unseen one on the bottom and getting an unqualified two for one price. Attention Walmart shoppers. Ass whipping on isle number one! SHOW ME YOUR HANDS! And there you are with one item showing on your receipt while two items grace your cart. And then you get to try to lie your way out of it all the way to the county jail.

The question being do you really have a conscience or just a fear of getting caught? You have to answer that question for yourself. And you have to weigh the effects on the victim. I’ll assure you the Walton family will not miss that package of bacon.

So what does all this have to do with sticking your nose in someone else’s business? Everything! Karens are everywhere. From guarding disabled parking spaces to searching your shopping basket the Karen is ever vigilant. Always watching should anyone fall short of the glory.

But what if nobody cared? What would happen if no one cared what was happening in some war in a land far far away that they will never see? What difference would it make if you saw somebody stealing a car and thought, “Great! A vacant parking space!” Or if the kid who just stole your purse or wallet was looking back laughing and charged out in front of a bus? Oh what a wonderful world that would be!

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

Just think about how much more agreeable life would be if we weren’t handing out our “got” to the “ain’t gots,” and we get to teach ‘em a lesson at the same time. Or you worrying about who anyone is screwing as long as they weren’t screwing you! Unless you were wanting to get screwed. Or some guy who wants to be a woman so bad that he mutilates himself. Wouldn’t bother me as long as I got to watch.

We should remove all warning labels and just let stupid work its way out. There’s your solution for overpopulation. Do away with all student loans and let all the kids with rich daddies apply. Guess who gets to go to college?

But Wilbur, Jesus tells us to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you!” How about this: Nobody does unto anybody unless they want to be done upon. Or better yet, the Texas Golden Rule. “Do unto others before they do unto you!”

There is already a society that follows this idea religiously. The government! If the government isn’t a Ponzi scheme I’m not a white boy from Austin. Look at it. The members promise you the world and you see them again at the next election. You invest your money in taxes hoping you will be at the top of the pyramid and you’d get a better return on your investment from a pusher. And when the president comes to your town you throw palm leaves on the ground. All but Dallas. Dallas doesn’t buy into palm leaves. They buy into palm prints! About the only thing the government does unto is Social Security. And even with both hands in the cookie jar they can’t balance a budget any better than Vladimir Putin.

I gave you a mantra a couple weeks ago. Fear, Anger, Hate. Well, here’s another one. “None of my business.” When you see anything that doesn’t directly affect you RIGHT THEN, just step over that old lady and repeat, “None of my business” ten times. Oh, and don’t forget to steal her phone. She’s not gonna need it anymore.

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