The Problem With Labeling Racism

The Problem With Labeling Racism

Commentary/Satire by: Bill the Butcher 

I’m gonna do something that I almost never do which is to bow to political correctness. I, personally think that political correctness is akin to paying for lunch for some chick with a smart mouth, but this particular implication of one of the modern rules of social acceptance is so prevalent, up to and possibly being a part of the penal code of some liberal states that it demands a tip of the hat and a harness of the tongue if I hope to avoid file thirteen with my publisher so here goes. Today I will use the term “The ‘N’ Word” as a substitute for the word we are all thinking of.  

The evolution of the vernacular pertaining to referring to people of color has perplexed those of the Caucasian Persuasion for generations. It wasn’t a problem for the N Word population itself but just watching the manipulations by the majority to properly label this group is a study unto itself. And it’s not just N Words, but any segment of the American population that is not from somewhere in the British Isles. Up to and including those folks who enjoy success in the film industry who are extremely cognizant of the white gravy on chicken fried steak and has led us to the banning of certain combinations of words that if you ever hope to achieve any level of success you will have to avoid at all costs. As the Prophet, Dave Chappell tells us, never use the words “The” and “Jews” in the same sentence. But this demographic of Americans has still not been reduced to being referred to as “The J Word!” That dubious honor has been reserved to our largest minority. . . The N Words!

I grew up in Killeen, Texas. Now in and of itself the name of that particular locality doesn’t spark the same response as, say, New York, Hollywood, Austin, or any number of towns where folks have illusions about, but Killeen stands alone in its dubious notoriety among the more prominent municipalities dotting the landscape of America. While there have been mass shootings in other towns, Killeen can boast of not one but two mass shootings thereby giving it distinction in the ongoing debate over gun control. And that’s not counting lesser events of substantially smaller body counts known as “shoot outs” or more simply “gunfights.” But hell! Even the vaunted Tombstone only had one “OK Corral” which set off a tourist industry that has not abated to this day. God bless ‘Murica and of course, Hollywood!” In Killeen you have to kill at least three if you are to have any hope of appearing anywhere in the local Killeen Daily Herald newspaper save the obituaries, and I believe you have to pay them for that!

But, I was raised there. One of, if not the largest Army bases anywhere is snuggled right up against Killeen. Fort Cavazos, formerly Fort Hood, (another victim of political correctness,) is chock full of soldiers of all types and colors. The 2nd Armored Division, started by Ol’ Blood and Guts himself, George Patton, was there, and any time a president wants to slap some rogue nation around he sends in the N Words, and that’s the end of it.

Suffice to say the demographic of Killeen is predominantly black. Forget that. It IS black! This comes from the army. My idea is at the ending of the draft, combined with a downturn in the economy, and an adjustment in the social services the populations of New York, Detroit, and Chicago all joined the army at the same time and were sent to “F” Troop in Texas. During the big stink over integration there was no smell of it in Killeen due to a shortage of schools. We had so many kids and so few kids they had to teach us in shifts. In the sixth grade I went to school a half day. Get home for lunch. But that’s none of my business. Later, black and white kids in the same school had no effect on me save my affinity for chicken wings which I have to this very day.

I became accustomed to most people being darker than me. And then, of course, we had Mexicans, but that’s for another article. FYI: There were no illegal immigrants. We kids knew them as “nationals.” Anyway, where was I! Oh yeah. I was very accepting of diversity. In fact, Mexican girls were quite fetching. While white girls all came off like Olive Oyal, Mexican girls appeared to be born full grown and their dresses were suitably tailored to emphasize that. Time and tears went by and I left Killeen to chase the music business. In time I fooled people into thinking I was a writer, and now I’m an Executive Producer in a movie company. Well, I’m really not, but they had to call me something and chicks pay for my lunch now. But everywhere I went I seemed to be in the majority.

Then one day I found myself in Brigham City, Utah. In my entire time there I saw one black dude, and he was just passing through with a white chick. On his way to Colorado I suppose. I mentioned this disparity to my hosts, and they assured me that there were many people of color in Utah, especially since God told them in 1978 that N Words were a human species. Whereupon I developed an understanding of race relations in Utah.

As I have already noted there is not an abundance of N Words in Utah. However, those of the Caucasian Persuasion must have a certain social structure. So . . . They have ways to institute a structure thereof. With the Latter-Day folks there are the Temple Worthy and the not so worthy. Since are all basically the same complexion you have to check their underwear to see who’s in and who’s out. The the solution for the demand for diversity in order to satisfy the “All are equal” factor our great nation was founded on ended up thus:They didn’t have no N Words so they went to the trailer park and made the people there the N Words. For interracial marriage God hadn’t become comfortable with that concept as of yet, and besides that the faithful had to get shed of all them sister wives HBO keeps making documentaries about.

Dover, Tennessee was another trip. Though they did have N Words there they didn’t let it get in the way of a good old-fashioned cross burning every now and then by the local chapter of the NAACP (National Association for the advancement of Cracker People.) Still, black may be beautiful, and tan may be grand, but in Tennessee white’s still the color of the big boss man. The gold standard in Tennessee is you being able to trace your pedigree back to Davy Crockett. And they can spot a stranger a mile away. Strangely, they all look alike and seem to have those big ears like Forest Gump. In 1861 General Grant came through town and they never quite got over it. The legacy lives on in naming their high school football team “The Rebels.” However, this tiptoeing around the Civil War and its results does not stop the teachers, child protection workers, police and everyone else there from embracing the LBGTQ + AA like a rich uncle and telling their kids to pick their gender while being very respectful to N Words. Hey! SOMEbody has to man the football team.

But, if you grew up in Killeen and go to the Piggly Wiggly in Dover you will understand why N Words are nervous around white people. —> I <— was fidgety around those crackers. Any minute I expected someone to ask me if I could squeal like a pig. Hmmmm. Could it be some subliminal connection? Piggly Wiggly. Squeal like a Pig? When you leave town you drive at five miles UNDER the speed limit because Barney’s waiting out on hiway 79 for you, and you will begin to appreciate the movie, “Deliverance!” Tennessee is the only state that can make Arkansas look normal.

The way to alleviate racism is to accept it and move on. Everyone has preferences. I’ve always had a thing for Scottish girls. It had nothing to do with their skin color. It’s something about the legs. But we ARE all different. Vive la différence! But if we simply appreciate each other then we may not move in with each other but will go to church together. Maybe even marry each other’s sisters without all the side glances on Thanksgiving. Acceptance is key. Except people from California that still think paper straws wrapped in a plastic wrapper will save the planet.

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