Bull Durham

Bull Durham

By: Bill the Butcher

Imagine, if you will, an alternate universe where Bonnie and Clyde retired to the Bahamas and Dillinger shot J. Edgar Hoover. Well, if you’d had today’s FBI back in 1934 that’s exactly what you might have had.

The Durham Report revealed the biggest batch of Keystone Cops since . . . well, The Keystone Cops! The FBI is so crooked that when one of them gets shot you don’t have to bury them. Just drive a stick through their ears and screw ‘em in the ground!

Like all you other lemmings I grew up believing the FBI was the prime example of law enforcement and beyond reproach. They all had excellent haircuts, never chopped down a cherry tree, and could solve a crime with one pubic hair from a San Francisco Bath House. God bless ‘Murica!

Well, time and tears went by and leaks formed placing J. Edgar firmly in an evening gown, caught agents swapping spit in the executive washroom and had to rely on a local sheriff and an old hippy to catch a pedophile who partied across the country with his fifteen year old girlfriend. Is there anything I missed?

Still we persevered. They had to be good. Didn’t they. I mean they weren’t stained by politics, except that time their director shot off his mouth about an ongoing case on Hillary Clinton, successfully giving her presidential bid the bull dog clap before retracting the whole thing leaving the bureau with the accountability of the Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan. Not to mention misplacing Hunter Biden’s laptop and possibly his pipe along with forgiving sixty-five THOUSAND emails Hillary sent through Facebook or somewhere, but who’s counting, right.

Then there came the great Trump/Putin affair that “someone” puked up in a report claiming that Donald was “colluding with the Russians on everything from vodka to grabbing . . . well, you know. And all these missteps have now come down in the Durham Report that basically says the FBI is a big ol’ stinking pile of cow flop! Well alert the media! Or don’t alert the media ‘cause they’re up to their asses in alligators and can’t remember the swamp Trump claimed to try to drain.

Have you ever noticed that when the New World Order, the WEF or any of the new fangled reinvention of The Knights Templar tries to orchestrate a world take over they always screw up? Look at George Soros. He’s a big time liberal leader. Vaccines for everyone, dead baby in every pot. . . I wouldn’t follow him into a whorehouse! Or Bill Gates. Stole Windows from Steve Jobs and still can’t make it work.

But they got together and pushed Trump out of office. Now do you understand that the election was messed with? Can you clearly count the heads coming across the Rio Grande? Does the pandemic seem to make more sense now? How about all them people from six to sixty dropping dead after taking the jab. And, for that matter, why isn’t the COVID virus going the way of polio or smallpox instead of “statistically speaking” the shot is “kinda, maybe, sorta” sixty percent effective if you hold your mouth right. Do I have to tell you people everything?

And the report is just the tip of the iceberg. People are in jail after having been convicted of a scandal that never happened. The FBI has always been a political hammer for the suppression of those who are not part of the ruling elite. They just hid it real good. All that money we paid bought us a traffic cop.

Only time will tell how far this will go. The government’s usual course is to spin. Comfortable in the knowledge that most people no longer care. With the economy crashing on the brink of World War III, most of us are hoarding eggs. Last year it was toilet paper. Next year, who knows? But the FBI will be there. Ever stalwart, always on guard, drinking water out of them horse tracks.

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