Stephen Colbert Convicted

The US Navy Judge Advocate General’s Corps at Camp Blaz, Guam, convicted talk show host Stephen Colbert of treason on July 26, ending a tardy saga that began when JAG investigators arrested the vaccine-loving liberal outside his Montclair, New Jersey, home in November 2023.

As reported then, JAG alleged that Colbert accepted from the NIH and CDC financial compensation for promoting the deadly COVID-19 vaccine on his titular show during the height of the Plandemic. Colbert had spent 1,750 show hours promoting vaccines and disparaging the anti-vax movement. Arresting him, however, hasn’t stopped the Deep State from recreating Colbert in the aggregate, using responsive CGI, Deep Fake, and holographic technology to restart his show following a ten-day hiatus. ABC, which airs Colbert’s show, claimed at the time that Colbert had suffered a ruptured appendix and was recovering in the hospital as a reason for the pause. The truth, however, was that a perfectly healthy Colbert had received an airplane ticket to JAG’s mainstream media internment camp in Guam.

JAG also charged Colbert with child sex crimes, having obtained photographic evidence showing Colbert cavorting with underage boys and girls at the late Jeffrey Epstein’s Island of debauchery. Moreover, Colbert’s phone held text conversations discussing procuring “six-to-ten-year-old blonde-haired, blue-eyed boys and girls” to stock his subterranean “doomsday bunker” in New Zealand.

Sources have suggested a year in captivity drove Colbert insane. After three months of confinement, he began pulling out his hair strand by strand until he was bald, and in March 2024 shattered his wrist against a concrete wall, then spent two months wearing a cast. Sometimes he would starve himself for days, only to end his hunger strike eating every meal tray clean and, occasionally, feasting on his own fecal matter.

Rear Admiral David G. Wilson, Commander, Navy Legal Forces Camp Blaz, had dismissed Colbert’s antics and dietary habits as an act of self-preservation, a bid to have himself declared unfit to stand trial by reason of insanity.

For reasons not supplied to RRN, JAG rescheduled Cobert’s tribunal three times before settling on July 26, 2024, as the date he would finally answer for his crimes against humanity.

As is customary, Colbert arrived in court handcuffed, flanked by uniformed MPs who led him to the defense table and instructed him to stay seated silently until given permission to speak.

“Mr. Colbert, you’ve refused counsel and chosen to represent yourself, is that correct?” Admiral Wilson asked the defendant.

Colbert eyeballed him. “There’s a piece of chrome on your head; you should do something about that.”

The Admiral seemed flummoxed. “And what is that supposed to mean?

“Exactly what I said it means,” Colbert said, his voice deepening, “that you should do something about that piece of chrome on your head.”

“Mr. Colbert, your life is on the line. It’s an inappropriate time for games, and your opprobrium toward me and this commission won’t serve you well, Mr. Colbert,” said the Admiral.

“Mr. Colbert isn’t here at the moment. He stepped out,” said Colbert, grinning.

“By now you know, Mr. Colbert, this court doesn’t recognize an insanity defense. We don’t acknowledge the demon, or spiritual possession, defense. Who you are or think you are doesn’t matter here. There’s only one corporeal Stephen Colbert, and he’s sitting in front of me,” Adm. Wilson said.

“Stephen figured you’d say something to that effect,” Colbert said.

Adm. Wilson faced the three officers JAG had picked to hear the case. “Don’t let his antics cloud your judgment. The evidence against him is the compelling factor.”

He showed the panel blood test results, taken shortly after Colbert’s arrest. “This man is unvaccinated. Yet he used his platform to push vaccinations massively and belittle people who, for whatever reason, opposed getting the experimental shot, which, we now know, contributed to millions of excess deaths. What his blood did have was Adrenochrome, and if it hadn’t been so long since his last fix, I’d say the defendant was in the throes of Adrenochrome-induced psychosis. But that’s not the case.”

“Stephen’s vaccination status is his own business, and you can’t prosecute him for practicing the First Amendment on his show,” Colbert said.

Adm. Wilson admonished the outburst. “The defendant will control or—”

Colber was snarling like a dog.

“We’ll muzzle him,” the Admiral said. “Accepting bribes to spread enemy propaganda is not protected speech, Mr. Colbert.”

He supplied the panel with Colbert’s banking records, which showed he had received fifteen NIH payouts totaling $35 million in 2021 and 2022. Colbert rebuked the evidence, accusing Adm. Willson personally of manufacturing it to frame him.

“Stephen is rich,” Colbert said, again referring to himself in the third person. “He doesn’t need a government pittance. You’re making it up.”

“The panel will judge the validity of the evidence,” Adm. Wilson said. “And you’ve been warned, Mr. Colbert. One more tirade and I’ll clear this courtroom and issue summary judgment from the bench.”

The Admiral dwelt on Colbert’s financials for two hours, highlighting the date and amount of each NIH deposit. The funds had been distributed among nine checking accounts, each of which Colbert was the sole account holder.

“The defendant was rich but not Elon Musk rich,” Adm Wilson said to the panel. “His net worth was, and I stress the word ‘was’ because we’ve seized his assets, $75 million, excluding the illicit bribes. We’ve convicted Deep Staters with three million dollars a year for Adrenochrome habits, so, yes, he wanted those NIH dollars. And the defendant had another expensive habit.”

He displayed photographs JAG had taken from Colbert’s phone. There were five, all especially young children, partly blurred to obscure genitalia. They had been sent to Colbert from what Adm. Wilson called a long-expired burner phone, as part of individual text messages. Colbert had responded “yes” or “no” to each text, adding “Good for NZ lair” to a message containing an image of a boy no older than seven or eight.

“Through his own words, on his own device, we learned Mr. Colbert owns a $5 million survival shelter in New Zealand. Unfortunately, we could not find it; there are literally tens of thousands of them in Queensland (ER: This is a state in Australia), and Mr. Colbert never wrote about its specific location, or exactly how he purchased it. He did, however, boast about owning a $5 million shelter in several messages. The images alone prove intent, and we believe Mr. Colbert used his lair as some perverted sex dungeon where he molested children he bought,” the Admiral said.

Colbert was seething with rage. He arose from his seat and shouted: “You want Stephen to admit he promoted an unsafe vaccine, to say he got paid for it, to say he likes younger children? Is that what you want, Admiral? Well, Stephen can’t. Stephen’s checked out, and I don’t know if or when he’ll be back.”

“I’ve seen Primal Fear, too, Mr. Colbert, and Ed Norton played a person pretending to be crazy better than you,” said Adm. Wilson.

Adm. Wilson ordered the MPs to remove Colbert from the courtroom, after which he approached the panel and said he was ending the proceedings and would arbitrarily decide Colbert’s fate from the bench. He unilaterally pronounced Colbert guilty on the charges of seditious conspiracy, dissemination of enemy propaganda, conspiracy to defraud the United States, possession of child pornography, child sex trafficking, and intent to sexually molest minors.

The sentence was death.

Colbert was hanged three days later.

Real Raw News will publish details of Colbert’s execution later today or tomorrow.

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