Stimulus Delayed As Trump Insists On Personally Delivering Giant Check To Every American

Stimulus Delayed As Trump Insists On Personally Delivering Giant Check To Every American

U.S.—Stimulus payments have been delayed yet again as President Trump announced he would be personally delivering a giant check to each and every American.

Trump will reportedly knock on every door in the country and surprise each household with the giant check and some free balloons.

“Hi, I’m President Trump, and you’ve just won $1,200 of your own money!” Trump shouted, smiling, as he started going down his street, beginning at 1601 Pennsylvania Avenue and moving on from there. “Congratulations! What are you going to do now?”

“I’m going to Disney World!” the woman declared, overjoyed. No one had the heart to tell her.

This could take a while, so the White House has cautioned everyone that their stimulus checks could arrive any time between now and 1,500,000 A.D.

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(TLB) update: After all of the messing around by the GOP leadership POTUS decided to to raise the amount to $2K per individual or $4K for a family. In addition Trump said if lawmakers don’t make this a done deal he is going to double all of the pay-out amounts, with the money coming out of Congressional 401 accounts of the members.

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(TLB) published this article from The Babylon Bee in the spirit of which it is intended.

Related story…

Pelosi Delays Stimulus Package Until Her New Souvenir Pens Come In

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