I have been a political blogger now for over six years, and have earned the status of being the number one Political Buzz Examiner in the nation… one out of 88 in my category. It has given me the ability to be associated with other truth seekers, like the patriots of The Liberty Beacon, and Roger Landry. But I must admit… there has been an amazing, and far reaching price to pay…
There are times when I wake up in the middle of the night from a horrible dream and rush to my computer to put down a series of thoughts… Sometimes hours and many thousands of words pour forth… When one tries to tell the truth in what is now described as an empire of lies, taboo, and agendas, there are indeed consequences for your efforts, and it can separate you from neighbors, family, friends, and a wide variety of other alienation as well… You see, not everyone wants to know the truth, and sometimes that mirror shows a horror too profound to comprehend… Truth makes many people very uncomfortable…
Those who do research, surf the internet, scan U-tube videos, and ask empowering questions, will get a virtual barrage of images hard to assimilate. And all of it, increment by increment, will wrap around preexisting notions of reality, and can wound your very soul… You see, most everything I was originally taught… has turned out to be false… and it was not by accident. Reality is not your own, it has been formulated for you…
I remember several years ago… I was surfing the net for some forgotten research, and found a video of a large vat of pulverized meat byproducts… I could not believe my eyes as I watched a live cow being thrown in and slowly crushed by an auger. The suffering cries of that animal I can never forget… but then… recently I’ve watched Christians being tortured by fire and beaten to death in Africa, and their screams haunt me daily. I know it sounds a bit surreal, but the screams of that cow, and men and women being dragged across a fire, sounds eerily the same… agony has the same voice.
How can you purge from your mind the view of a live-birth abortion, where a forceps is inserted into the brain stem of a live child. The so called doctor who performs this procedure does not let the head of the baby out of the canal, and I speculate it is because its crying might taint the experience… and in that created hole. a vacuum-tube is inserted to suck out it’s brain… What a sound that makes… or the suffocation of a live fetus in a bucket of blood and cut-up miniature body parts… and you wonder what evil capacity a human heart can hold? Little hands, bulging eyes from a crushed skull, a little leg, and 85 or more years of life… gone… Oh sweet Jesus. Who could do such a thing?
I have watched a Chinese couple holding each other and crying, forced to have an abortion for their Communist Government’s limit of one child only… and all due to a failed mandatory vasectomy. “My baby.” she cried, “They killed my baby!” Yes, that was memorable.
I’ve watched the golden fires of illegal white phosphor bombs making quite a beautiful display over the night skies of Gaza… a phosphor fire akin to napalm, and illegal by international law. And I heard, in the distance… the screams of 1,500 people… they burned to death along with thousands of burn victims who survived the eight-hour ordeal… I watched it all, and it changed me….and as I saw the remains of the school children lined up on the street… I knew I had been betrayed. It was all a damn lie. A damnable lie.
I have watched live cats being skinned and thrown into a vat of hot salty water, a delicacy in China… and wondered at that kind of pain, as the cat tried to climb out… Blue eyes under the water, without eyelids… or the live monkeys with their skulls cut off, and men drinking saki and eating its brain as it cries and cries and cries, to suddenly stop… And they toast “hie!” as that was well worth the thousand dollar price! … and then…The slaughter of thousands of dolphins I can never forget, or the female dolphin hoisted to the mast by a Japanese fishing boat to cut her throat… she was supposed to be wrenched from the fishing net on port to be freed starboard side. She could have survived, but these fishermen wanted her dead… but something unexpected happened… And I blanched as she simultaneously gave birth… and I saw… I could not stop looking… a pure white squirming baby was picked up by a fisherman with boots and gloves… and he bashed its head on the rail before tossing it over the side… and my eyes grew bleary as I saw the other dolphins seemingly trying to save it, as in a turbulent froth of panic, the deep blue of the Pacific turned red… And I sometimes catch myself thinking of those dying dolphins caught in the net of angry men who think them to be nothing but a ban on the tuna industry…Tuna, full of mercury and heavy metals, and radioactive. And then I remember another video, off the shores of Louisiana… a fisherman caught in his net was saved by a pod of dolphins…
I watched video-players dressed in US Army uniforms flying state-of-the-art drones…. I heard their laughing commander’s consideration and final approval to use it’s 30 caliber machine gun to pulverize a group of men going to work,(the report said they thought they were insurgents.) …and then waiting patiently to kill the rescue workers trying to save a life… I remember that laughter… and I walked the halls of my home that night, shaking my head and wondering what side is the righteous side… what side am I on? Blood for peace? Is that the teachings of Christ? What insanity is that, if not the calibration that war is a racket, and very lucrative, and all of America is a pawn? And so, what does it matter to the average American anyway, who gauges the price of gas with a pack of smokes. and has memorized the stats of every NFL player….
I have watched the genital mutilation of a young girl… and I will take that to my grave… I remember the knife… and her eyes, and the men holding her down as she pleaded with her father to stop… And the stoning of a woman buried in sand up to her neck because she allowed herself to be raped… And there is, for all to see, and with no stops, the most perverse sex imaginable…women having sex with dogs, goats, snakes, horses… and women strapped to crosses and beaten, voluntarily, with a bull-whip… until their backs look like hamburger, and all of it, and much more, for the hopeful revenue of a viral video post… what horror to find a woman so desperate she would let a man beat her half to death for the possibility of money… she hopes that people out in the void will get sexually aroused looking at it, and pay to see more…
…and yet, I continue… I continue to believe that there is an opposing force, a good in the world that can not be denied… I can see it in the eyes of everyone I so love. It keeps me focused, centered, and sane. And I have come to realize that there are good people in every religion, but that religion is used for the evil in men’s hearts…men who speak for God and want only earthly power… secular men who have no moral compass. …and if I did not have that understanding, that hard-won insight, I would hate all Muslims, all Jews, all Christians, and myself as well… and more likely, I would be little more than part or the statistics below… Surely, if I thought this world was so twisted, so emphatically evil, that I am nothing more than dust in the wind… taking my life would seem a viable option, just as many people do, each and every day… people who have seen too much, who can find no more meaning to life… People who suffer in heart, mind, and body… and can no longer appreciate the dawn of a new day…
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) collects data about mortality in the U.S., including deaths by suicide. In 2010 (the most recent year for which data are available), 38,364 suicides were reported, making suicide the 10th leading cause of death for Americans. In that year, someone in the country died by suicide every 13.7 minutes.
How common is suicide?
It is estimated more than one million people die by suicide each year in the world, or more than 2,700 people per day
There has been a 31% increase in the number of suicides in the U.S., from an estimated 80 a day in 1999 to 105 a day in 2010.
Nearly 20,000 of the 30,000 deaths from guns in the United States in 2010 were suicides, according to the most recent figures from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Suicidal acts with guns are fatal in 85 percent of cases, while those with pills are fatal in just 2 percent of cases, according to the Harvard Injury Control Research Center.
465,000 people a year are seen in ER for self-injury.
Suicide is the third-leading cause of death for teenagers.
7% of 18-39 year olds said that they had seriously considered suicide in the last year.
In 2010, the last year for which figures are available, 22 veterans took their own lives every day, with the largest number occurring among men between 50 and 59.
Depression is the key indicator in two thirds (@20,000) of all suicides
Other key indicators are childhood abuse and confusion over sexuality.
Even with the withdrawal from Iraq and the pullback in Afghanistan, the rate of suicide within the military has continued to rise significantly faster than within the general population, where it is also rising. In 2002, the military’s suicide rate was 10.3 per 100,000 troops, well below the comparable civilian rate. But today the rates are nearly the same, above 18 per 100,000 people.
From the American Journal of Epidemiology:
Persons with guns in the home were also more likely to have died from suicide committed with a firearm than from one committed by using a different method.
The researchers found that states with higher rates of household firearm ownership had significantly higher rates of suicide by children, women and men.
The availability of guns in the home, independent of firearms type or method of storage, appears to increase the risk for suicide among adolescents.
With few exceptions, states with the highest rates of gun ownership — for example, Alaska, Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, Alabama, and West Virginia — also tended to have the highest suicide rates.
Statistics show above that a hand-gun is the weapon of choice for suicide, and that is another excuse in the attempt to take our guns. Well, I would die a million deaths to keep mine. As I know, without a doubt, that my gun is the only thing standing in the way of the evil I see in this world, and that includes the tyranny coming form inside of my own government.
Yes, I’m just a human being, and my heart is filled with both love and dread… just like yours. Yesterday, and what prompted this essay, was what I noticed at a traffic light by the Camellia bridge. Here, in the heart of the most productive, civilized, moral city in the US… Two girls pulled up next to me, young and beautiful girls of about 18, I suppose, with arms full of tattoos, and piercings over their eyes and mouths… The passenger was dressed in short-shorts, and had her feet resting on the dash with her legs displayed wide open, for effect. I could see her glancing demurely around to see if any one was looking, and a truck with two working men took a gander… She had her window cracked and one hand posed, a perfectly manicured hand, and it held a freshly lit cigarette… and it’s gray smoke was extracted… so as not to stink up the new interior… the driver was texting, and they played something loud, akin to rap, and when the light changed she continued to text as she disappeared over the bridge going at least forty miles over the speed limit… On the bumper, in bright gold, was the Christian symbol of the fish… something her parents had put there I suppose… and I fought a lump in my throat for something so deep inside I could not figure out why.
God bless America, but I have seen enough to say, everything in this world, including America, will someday get exactly what it deserves… as cause and effect is a universal truth. And as one surfs on YouTube, one can find the suffering of innocence aplenty, along with a precious little angel singing Silent Night. Indeed, there are videos full of laughter and joy, and profound men of courage and conviction trying desperately to reclaim our American Constitution, and I am replenished. My soul is filled. And I see that there is a duality on this finite earth, one of light and the other dark, of good and bad and right and wrong, of evil and righteousness, of tyranny and a mother’s loving heart… and I know which side I stand.