How five articles went from Monster to the DAYUM factor
Come here, Imma gonna told you something. Gonna teach you about The Monster today! Instead of my usual review of the week, I’m going to put up for your reading pleasure, five of my articles you may, or may not have seen from the five hundred sum odd pieces the Tea Party Tribune has been kind enough to publish for me over the last three years.
When you write an article you tend to think it’s a masterpiece. I bury “Easter Eggs” in every one. A good example of that is in “New Baby and The Trip To Bountiful,” where in one line I replaced “The Principal” with the words “The Principle” alluding to polygamy. It got by a lot of people but the principal who let my grandson go skipping across Main Street in Brigham City got my point, and he’s been mad ever since. Sorry for Party rocking Dude! I also include at least one mistake for liberals who search my stuff to challenge my literacy. An it’s for its or a comma for a period.
For every fifty to one hundred articles that are penned, one will be the “monster!” While on a typical run an article will struggle for reads, these certain works will take off a bit faster. Then you’ll notice a comment later on that article, but not from the Trib. It’ll come from USA Today, or some other publication where part or all of the article was used or cited. That’s when you go back and check the numbers and said article will move into the “DAYUM” section. These five are those types of works.
I didn’t learn journalism in any college. I learned to spin a yarn in Nashville. The same methods that make a song “cook” will chicken fry an article. Methods like make a point and return to it toward the end to reinforce the theme. Don’t keep repeating “ands” and “buts.” Write like you speak. I don’t have a big problem with spelling because I’m ignorant and don’t use a whole lot of big words. I try not to lie . . . much, but I’ll use innuendo to worm around a subject or person (such as that principal) to make my point. FYI: The reason my five year old grand baby got out in the street unsupervised was he was too infatuated with a certain teacher. Little light hearted jab on an embarrassing era of Mormon history, add a dash of innuendo and voila! Principal soup! But you know I’m bad.
While I’m on that subject, I want to explain why I pick on Mormons so often. Even though I’m an old “Reptile Bait” I’ve been covered UP with Latter Day Saints for over thirty years. My wife’s and for that matter my daughter in law’s family are Temple Worthy all the way back to Joseph Smith. I did write Joseph Did You Know about the Mormon culture, and I’m fascinated with their history, but if I ever stepped into a Temple my hair would catch on fire. I use the same method when addressing race baiters, Political Correctness, and people who are confused by common sense.
I read my stuff out loud. That’s an old songwriter’s trick. My friends think I’m crazy because I always seem to be talking to myself. If it won’t roll smoothly off your tongue it will irritate or confuse the reader. Finding subjects to write about is not hard. I can actually write about things I know very little of. When I began to write for Raging Elephants Radio on Doc Greene’s show I actually knew very little about the Texas movements of secession and nullification. In time I learned, but for about six months it was mostly style, style, style.
I do research. Usually on YouTube. I will sometimes spend up to a week familiarizing myself with a subject before I write anything about it. One subject I never could really cope with was the Flat Earth Society. I tried, but I simply couldn’t drink enough whiskey to make any sense out of it. I try not to rag on the Cartels or Muslims too much because I don’t want to get bombed or shot.
That all having been said, I think you will enjoy these pieces. Like a hit song I could feel them coming off my pen, so to speak. Each one directly addresses some facet of the human experience. Each one promoted itself to the “DAYUM” status. I don’t buy into inspiration but I will say these five came out of nowhere, so I guess there is someone out there looking out for us. It has been my honor and my joy to share with you guys and gals.
About (TLB) Contributor Bill and the gang at The Butcher Shop
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