BREAKING NEWS: Illegal Immigrants Forcibly Occupy Small Texas Town
By: Jane M. Agni (Satire)
<National Report> (Sarita, Texas) – The Mexican border crisis has gone from bad to worse over night, after a well-organized Hispanic militia sacked the small town of Sarita, Texas. Sarita is a quiet community, residing 90 miles west of Mexico’s border. The city limits stretch along U.S. Route 77, but end before reaching nearby Corpus Christi, TX. The 2010 US Census states that the berg has a mere 284 residents.
Sarita, TX has been recognized in the past for its leftist views. Business Insider ranked them “The Most Liberal City In Texas“. Some immigrants are said to have used this to their advantage, crossing the nearby border with the belief that Saritains would not report them to the Border Patrol. This tolerant mentality has proven to be a double edge sword, and one that could served to be their undoing.
Late Thursday night, over two hundred armed La Raza militants stormed the sparely populated town, forcing the original residents out and claiming the abandoned properties as their own. The potential death toll is unknown at this time, though several members of the community are reportedly missing.
According To The 2010 US Census Sarita Texas Has A Population Of 284
Local law enforcement agents are critically shorthanded; Their efforts spread thin in an attempt to secure their native towns from the current influx of illegal aliens. For the last two weeks, thousands of these immigrants have infiltrated America’s border. US authorities are out-manned, and out-gunned by the lawless Mexican gang, who are said to be carrying military grade firepower. In short, American soil has been captured by a foreign militia, and absolutely nothing is being done about it.
Corpus Christi Police Detective, Joshua Herberger, works on the city’s gang enforcement unit and gave us his own theory of La Raza’s motives. “I believe that this group is using the town to advance three primary goals. One: To smuggle drugs, prostitutes and other members of their gang into America. Two: To serve as a “raid base” from which they can spread out further into the surrounding areas, and three: Pillaging the community’s resources to sustain these various operations. If they are not removed soon, it will become exponentially more difficult to evict them in the near future.”
Residents are angered that the United States is doing nothing to help them reclaim their homes, and are demanding action through local news organizations.
“They Shouted “Viva La Raza!” While Marching Through Our Neighborhood. There Must Have Been More Than 100 Of Them, All Carrying AK-47s, And Wearing Masks…”
In an interview with National Report, John Terrance, a lifelong resident of Sarita, told us the following, “Me and my wife are in our bedroom sleeping, right, and we were woken up by gun shots and loud yelling. You could hear a mob outside on the street, all speaking Spanish. They shouted “Viva La Raza!” while marching through our neighborhood. There must have been more than 100 of them, all carrying AK-47s, and wearing masks. Real scary looking guys. Groups of them started breaking into the houses on my block. Three of them raided our house as well. Told my wife and I to walk out to the street while holding us at gun point. Everyone was still in their pajamas, totally defenseless. A handful of the gang members then walked the lot of us to the edge of town. That’s when the one of them said, ” Let your President know that we are reclaiming what is rightfully ours. Sarita belongs to La Raza.” It was the most frightened I’d ever been in my life. I was so sure we were going to die last night.”
When questioned about any other casualties, Terrance told us ,”I’m not sure. There were lots of gun shots, and several of my neighbors are still missing. I fear the worse, though I didn’t see anyone get killed.”
According to John and his wife, Gladys, many of Sarita’s citizens are staying with relatives in the neighboring towns of Kingsville and Falfurrias. They are all on edge, wondering which city will fall victim the La Raza militants next. “We’ve had to leave everything behind.” Says Gladys. “These criminals have taken our homes, doing God knows what in them, and no one, not even Obama–a man we voted for–wants to take action. I tell you, this is a sad time to be an American…”
Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She has written for such fine websites as Modern Woman Digest and Civic Tribune. Her book entitled “The States Of Shame: Living As A Liberated Womyn In America” appeared on Oprah’s Book Club and quickly went bestseller shortly thereafter. She’s currently at work on the follow up tentatively named “Sisters Of Shame: The Why In Womyn” . Jane M. Agni now writes full-time for National Report, giving her unique perspective on the latest world events.