Am I The Only One Who Noticed This?

By: Bill the Butcher

Over a year ago I had the only disagreement I’ve ever had with a longtime friend. When the Russian army surged across the border of Ukraine I said, “Russia gonna lose this war.” My friend, being more knowledgeable in such matters read me the facts and figures pertaining to military might, history, the size of Russia compared to Ukraine, and I conceded to his wisdom.” Consequently, Ukraine handed Putin his face, in the beginning … but not now! That would have been like America losing a war with Utah. Wait. They did lose that one. Ok. Colorado.

What is happening in situations like this, is a harbinger of things to come. The old order changith. Just like colonialism, superpowerism has seen its better days. Gone are the days when you can drop a couple nukes and the Japanese stop fighting a world war and go into the automotive industry. Like Jack Nicholson said in One Flew Over the Coo Coo’s Nest, “There are other people in the world, Martini!” And they’re all fed up, not with groceries but with our entitled world view.

It’s been quite handy to dine on candy bars while the rest of the world licks the wrappers but remember rule number one: There are more of them than there are of us! If you divide the world’s population by us, they will go over us once with nothing left over! The Romans had to deal with this. They were the ultimate civilization. They had money, armies, land, and all the slaves. Then one day while they were philosophizing in the public bath, they realized that everyone except them was speaking German or a divination thereof. To the showers!

America has been called the Great Melting Pot. That was before tacos, bugs, and fried rice got added to the menu. Now the pot runnith over, and the new guests want a place at the table. And they’re not making reservations. As Russia, China, and America tried to impose their will on the Third World that nasty old twentieth century kept getting in the way and their WWII ideology became all too cumbersome as just rolling over someone and killing all their kids wasn’t working like it used to. What to do. Can’t be a superpower if you can’t do super stuff. So the three big dogs in the pound got together to construct a New World Order or a reasonable facsimile thereof.

Americans resorted to “Sneaky Snake,” diplomacy where we’d bankroll some psychopath, make him king, whereupon he would commence a genocide on anyone not in his tribe. If you ain’t family then you’re on the menu . . . literally! If he hid it well, we’d call him an ally but if it ended up on YouTube we’d send in the CIA, blast his butt all over the parade ground and swear before God, and five other old white men that we needed to spread a little freedom around over there! Of course, that was dependent upon how much oil was to be had. No glove, no love! God Bless ‘Murica!

Now China has a different approach. Ah so! Ever wonder why Asians do so good in school? Because they’re smart! So, it only goes to follow when you mix math, computer technology, and a few Chinamen you get balloons floating all over your country sending intelligence back home to their missile silos for a better fix on your missiles. Now don’t get me wrong. China will use the roll over tactic when necessary, but it’s much easier to just sell their brand of communism to a bunch of cannibals who can’t read or write and try to convince them to eat rice later. And you can’t drop a nuke on ‘em. They’ll just think it’s the Fire God and start a religion.

The Three Stooges had Curly, and the new Triumvirate had Russia? Ok, let’s be honest here. Russia has never been the brightest torch in the mob at Dracula’s place. They still think they won World War II. Never mind that’s why it’s called a World War and we even had to give it a number. As a reward they got Eastern Europe and then got ran out of town. Then they fell apart like Lenin’s plastic corpse. Along come RasPutin and they fooled themselves into thinking they invented Pepsi Cola. They finally became so delusional that they started a war they didn’t even call a war, but they did learn how to spell a$$ whoopin’ as the Ukrainians began to melt down their tanks and turn them into drones for flights to Moscow. How’s that suit fitting now Vladimir?

So, that’s your superpowers, all sitting there like ducks in a row. Oh, they’ll rattle their nukes, but the world isn’t really impressed anymore. Heck, India has nukes but they haven’t evolved to McDonalds yet, so forget about them. It may come as a surprise to you but these three were in full cooperation the whole time. But as America dissolved its history and constitution, China sold its soul to Apple, and Russia ran out of vodka they became like crabs in a barrel all trying to climb over each other to reach the top. The Chinese even have Americans worried about if they should squat or stand in the John while wild Mexicans are coming over the border like the Dawn at the Alamo and they completely missed one of their lead Senators forgetting his own name during a press conference a couple days ago, while their president said for God to bless a dead queen at the end of a speech. You can’t make this stuff up, folks. And let us not forget the front runner on the Republican ticket has more charges than Al Capone!

What can we do about this? Well, nothing actually. About the only thing I can say is it’s gonna be funny watching all these political analysts scramble looking for a publisher of their next book. Some ingenious way of describing political reality to the masses. Something so far beyond the Constitution or Das Kapital that it defies reason. It’s already been written. It was called Animal Farm!

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Am I The Only One Who Noticed This?