This Kindergarten Ain’t Big Enough for Me and You Pardnuh

This Kindergarten Ain’t Big Enough for Me and You Pardnuh

Commentary/Satire by: Bill the Butcher

23: By the time Lot reached Zoar, the sun had risen over the land. 24: Then the Lord rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the Lord out of the heavens. 25: Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, destroying all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land. 26: But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

It goes without saying that all personal relationships should remain, well, personal. The heart goes where the heart will go and love has no explanation or reasonable bounds. Jack Spratt loved his wife. Everyone else dodged her at The Golden Corral. But one man’s meat is another man’s poison, and moral poison is slow but effective.

All illegal drugs are good the first time, but as time goes by the addicted find themselves using more and more of the drug just trying to get back to where they once belonged. The road home is a long and winding one. And many never make it. Check out the suicide rate among the LGBTQ and sometimes dead population. The denial of God’s plan for couples followed by a descent into deviant behavior is hard on a person’s adaptability to the rest of us and like the song says, “You can check out any time you please, but you can’t never leave!”

The constitution binds the government, but it allows or assumes a population that has that common decency. The first amendment protects freedom of speech, but we must remember when we freely speak that there are ladies in the room. Sure, you have freedom of religion, but let’s try to keep the wives at a reasonable level, and while we have the right to keep and bear arms, we should keep them in the car and not bear them into a school! Schoolteachers should concentrate on Reading, Writing, and ‘Rithmatic and leave the little girls alone!

Opposites attract, but if you’ve been in divorce court as many times as I have you will understand that difference is not the spice of life but the evidence the opposing lawyer presents to the judge. You will note there is no jury in the severance of marital bonds unless one or the other of the combatants chooses a more “permanent” solution.

But all of this could be easily avoided if all pillow talk just stayed between the pillows. And I’ll admit that while I prefer those of the fairer sex, there are those who subscribe to other nuances of a relationship. “Any Dab’ll Do Ya.” I shy away from using the word “gender” because the DSM has not arrived at a definitive definition as of yet, still struggling with the no man’s land between Pedophile and “Minor Attracted.”

With the current movement in Texas to amend the State Constitution to bring it more in line with The Bible it might be prudent for those of, shall we say, a more California style of life to go somewhere more conducive to their beliefs. California IS sliding into the ocean by the way God bless global warming! The old ways die hard however, and we haven’t quite gotten past dragging people behind pickup trucks down here, but we’re working on it.

Listening to my grandsons’ talking on the way to school yesterday was an eye-opening experience for me. While I’d normally not venture into that conversation I was intrigued by the subject matter. They were discussing the finer points of a book they were reading that expounded the practice of, well, sodomy. For those of you who have been hiding under a big yellow rock, the word “sodomy” was derived from the name of a certain town, Sodom, where the residents therein were versed in same sex relationships up to and including imposing it on visiting angels. Anyway, God chased Lot and his family out of town, turning his wife into salt lick because she turned to get one last look at the mall. (Valley girl!)

So here we were on our way to a Texas school on Valentine’s Day no less with three teenage Texas boys all talking about “Broke dick mountain!” It puts a whole new mindset on “the lone prairie, I’ll tell ya. Upon arriving I saw pretty little Texas girls, wearing their corsages that their mother and father had provided them and standing around were what used to be proper cowboys who had all been reading “The Adventures of Roy Rump Ranger.” Bud Light anyone?

Now I’m just a Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin but are we just a bit out of kilter here, or is it just me? I tend to dodge the LGBTQ and sometimes A community. But if you’re homophobic in Austin you will have a hard time getting a decent haircut and your waiter will spit in your food. So, like most of you I say, “Live and let live!” Just live over there. All neighborhoods have “The nice gay couple” down the street who hand out the best candy on Halloween.

Back in my day when Robert E Lee was in West Point, certain things were banned from the classroom. Sex education has its place, but it was confined to learning how to avoid the clap while under the bleachers at the football game. A teacher who doesn’t know if they should squat or stand should not be teaching any first graders anything but their ABCs. Hey TEACHER! Leave them kids alone! A person’s choice about whatever floats their boat should keep their boat on Lake Travis and not in the wading pool. The diaspora that makes people buy into this continues to be redefined by psychologists who are just as crazy as their patients. It resides in a part of the brain that believes in the Tooth Fairy. The confusion about the definition of gender is gaslighting at its finest. “You must accept my delusion of my belief about my sex or YOU’RE crazy!

I don’t care for same sex, but I don’t care for beets either. That doesn’t rule over my life. I just avoid beets, and blended whiskey. But America is a tolerant society. Live and let live, but like I said live over there! There are other societies that are a bit more, shall we say, “Direct?” They tend to throw fairies off the tops of buildings to see if they can fly!

This will eventually find common ground and mankind will be right back where it has always been. Some like chocolate, some like vanilla. I can’t say the the two will never mix because sometimes they do but this Kindergarten ain’t big enough for me and you pardnuh!

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