Be Sure Your Sins Will Find You Out!

Everybody’s Got Something To Hide ‘Cept For Me and My Monkey

By: Bill the Butcher

Those words were penned by the Prophet, John Lennon before he was shot in the back for saying that he was more popular than Jesus. God made man, man made churches, churches made theology, and then the plate was passed.

Another noted writer, John Fogarty coined the phrase What You Burn in Your Crazy Mind. In my humble opinion, you can learn more about the human condition listening to old timey rock and roll than you’ll ever learn from Joel Osteen! I find it amazing that people find it amazing when they discover that their spiritual leaders are surprisingly human. Atheists poo poo the Bible, but there’s a lot of wisdom packed between those covers. Things like for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God!

The case of Jesse Boyd v The State of Montana is such a paradox. Here we have a church group going down a country road, marching for Jesus. We’ve all seen this before. A demonstration of faith. Usually dragging a cross and handing out pamphlets to passers by. No harm done. Donate or drive on by. Myself, I keep change in my ashtray and when I see anyone doing that or holding a sign I grab some change and give it to them. I believe God hears their prayers before mine, and I need all the prayers I can get!

••••

The Church of the Righteous Gun would have been alright except that a motorist didn’t stop to donate. He stopped to let them know that they were illegally parked. Now, this could have ended right there, all except four of the disciples chose to beat the hell out of the old boy, one with an American flag.

I can tell you from personal experience that don’t work! I whacked a guy over the head with a shotgun back in ‘81 and found that the police frown on that. Flag or shotgun, the song remains the same. Spam sandwiches for everyone with an order of bail on the side.

And I have a confession, myself. The other day I did an article wherein I aspersed Ms, Bethany, Jesse’s fetching daughter. I’m just A Simple Ol’ boy from Austin, but when I see a pretty girl hanging out in the woods with a couple dudes I tend to have an impure thought. (I’m sorry I did that, Lord, I promise I won’t do that no more.)

The Gang of Four is betting on their lawyer, the Right Honorable John Pierce, to explain their actions on that fateful day. The way I understand it, he is going to rely on a freedom of religion defense. The promise of that freedom is supposed to be secured by the First Amendment. Let’s get a picture of that.

That looks all very fine until you apply federal law. If you want to dance with snakes in Arkansas on Sunday that’s freedom of religion, but if you want to dance with a couple sister wives in Salt Lake City that’s a felony. Meanwhile, out in California men marry men, women marry women, and tigers marry chairs. The same legal logic applies to the second extension of the constitution. Picture please.

Now, I want you to walk into any courtroom with a gun strapped to your hip, reciting that to the judge as you approach the bench. I’ll notify your survivors.

You can preach to passers by all you want, but you can’t beat ‘em up. It’s as simple as that. The first blow thrown also threw the Bible out the window. The lawyer for the defense will twist and turn the events with his legalese, but that won’t change the basic facts of the case. Four against one, flag as a weapon, they were illegally parked, and from what I understand Mr. Terrell was only exercising his freedom of speech.

The Gang of Four are not without their supporters. One example being John Lamb. He put up a video swearing before God and five other old white men that the highway whereupon the incident took place was the place, and therefore holy ground, and this shall be borne out by three holy tablets which Lawyer Pierce will present to the court presently. Can I have an Amen?

I grew up a Baptist. I became Catholic, with a side order of Mormon. There are many flavors of the Faith. When two believers of different wavelengths cuss and discuss it usually boils down to one proposition. My invisible guy in the sky can whip your invisible guy in the sky! No one has the complete answer. One from Column A two from Column B. Jesus Himself said Those who are not against is are for us. Ask yourself. Other than seeking personal glory (Which is what they were really doing) on that road that day, what did Boyd & Co. accomplish, other than an assault on an old man? And on that road Jesus didn’t show up and blind anyone. Ya’ll have a blessed day.

••••