Commentary by: Bill the Butcher
The first thing you learn in the songwriting business is that if you keep writing the same song over and over again you won’t make no money. Y’all write that down. There’ll be a test later. With the budget about to flatline yet again, is it any surprise that a bunch of supposedly intelligent people who couldn’t plan their money for six months couldn’t realize that after COVID 1, 2, 3, Snake oil vax, MonkeyPox, and Climate Change, that even the inhabitants of the most remote village in Appalachia would figure it out? Do y’all hear them dueling banjos?
And the COVID scare was not even a new idea. Many years ago, sailors went to a land far, far away. Now they called it “The New World,” but it wasn’t new at all. It was chocked full of Indigenous People who walked over across the Bering Strait during the previous ice age. The one just proceeding that last global warming that filled up the seas up again. They settled North and South America and had many civilizations in the process. Well, they weren’t real civilizations. They had fights between different tribes, killings in the street and weird religions. OMG! I just described New Orleans. Now, where was I?
So, Christopher Columbus hit town and found all these Indian girls running around topless. Now Chris and the boys didn’t bother to tell the Arapahos that they all had tuberculosis and Chief Slapaho didn’t tell them that all the girls had the Clap. And a few other tidbits naked women tend to acquire when allowed to hang out naked at the beach all day. I just love it when I’m told that people at nude beaches don’t notice the girls. Yeah right! And catfish have kittens.
So, by and by they sailed home with the funky monkey that they distributed in equal portions to Suzie Sweetcheeks waiting faithfully at the dock. In short order Europe was overwhelmed with the Hong Kong Dong! And guess what happened next? The government got involved. (This is my surprised face.) And if you think a paper mask was bad, try a chastity belt. Have you ever seen one of those things. Ask yourself; would you stay with a girl that you trusted so little that she had to wear that thing while you were out crusading or whatever? That is why the Mormons were polygamists. Wife gets wild . . . next! Oh, sorry. wrong century. But you know I’m right. Did the government cure the STD outbreak? Not on your life. Someone finally came up with community sewer systems for the masses, but until penicillin, abstinence or a rubber was about the best you could hope for. Maybe chastity belts.
Verily, verily I say unto thee, Every time the government gets involved you get a cluster screw. In America we get a star-spangled cluster screw. But here’s the rub. Under usual circumstances when Uncle Sammy pops it to us they designate it “Top Secret,” and tell us we can look at it in oh, a hundred years or so. Did you know they just figured out that John Wilkes Booth probably shot Lincoln?
Now they just reintroduce the same old crackers and call ‘em Ritz! New Improved COVID! And they even give it a number. EG.5 or the more, kinder, friendlier Eris for short. Sounds like some kid you knew in high school. Eris was cool, but he always seemed to have a cold. And what will Eris do. Well, grandma’s gonna die, that’s a given. And they don’t have to concoct another vax because Pfizer warehouses are plumb full of Vax 1.0 because we got hip about everyone from first graders to retirees started dropping dead of strokes. Talking about dropping dead, have you checked out Pfizer stock lately?
At least the schools are open. After two years of our precious children running around the house all day being taught by day drinkers, we won’t be making that mistake again. It got so bad that when the CPS came knocking you offered to pay them to take the kids! And grocery stores and churches are open. There’s no food in the stores, and the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost split for the coast. They left a few priests who haven’t been indicted yet. But all in all, we’re making our way back to normalcy. Oh, my bad. The Sun supposedly touched the earth but only in Lahaina.
The Liberty Beacon Project is now expanding at a near exponential rate, and for this we are grateful and excited! But we must also be practical. For 7 years we have not asked for any donations, and have built this project with our own funds as we grew. We are now experiencing ever increasing growing pains due to the large number of websites and projects we represent. So we have just installed donation buttons on our websites and ask that you consider this when you visit them. Nothing is too small. We thank you for all your support and your considerations … (TLB)
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