First College, now NBA To Assign ‘Adversity Score’ To Professional Basketball

NBA To Assign ‘Adversity Score’ To Pudgy White Guys Who Want To Play Professional Basketball

via The Babylon Bee
U.S.—The NBA announced Friday that for the upcoming basketball season, the league will be assigning an “adversity score” to overweight white dudes to help more of them get signed with professional basketball teams.

The score will take into account many environmental and biological factors, like the fact that they’re white guys who can’t jump and get winded while walking up a small flight of stairs. It will also take into account the fact that they don’t know anything about the fundamentals of the game and tend to shout things like “I’m open! Hey, I’m open!” even when they’re clearly not open. Finally, white dudes who scarf down whole bags of Cheetos daily, drink a six-pack of beer every night, and haven’t exercised in years will receive a “considerable boost” from the new weighted point system.
“We’ve been going about the draft and recruiting new players all wrong,” said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. “Teams have been objectively evaluating the skills, character, and overall quality of a player when they decide to sign him. They don’t consider all the factors that may have made a person a worse basketball player, such as the fact that he’s 150 pounds overweight, ten years past his prime, and hasn’t played basketball since junior high.”
“This will result in a fairer, more equitable system for all.”

*********

(TLB) published this Sports Report Spoof Report from The Babylon Bee with our deep appreciation for the deep laugh.

••••

The Liberty Beacon Project is now expanding at a near exponential rate, and for this we are grateful and excited! But we must also be practical. For 7 years we have not asked for any donations, and have built this project with our own funds as we grew. We are now experiencing ever increasing growing pains due to the large number of websites and projects we represent. So we have just installed donation buttons on our websites and ask that you consider this when you visit them. Nothing is too small. We thank you for all your support and your considerations … (TLB)

••••

Comment Policy: As a privately owned web site, we reserve the right to remove comments that contain spam, advertising, vulgarity, threats of violence, racism, or personal/abusive attacks on other users. This also applies to trolling, the use of more than one alias, or just intentional mischief. Enforcement of this policy is at the discretion of this websites administrators. Repeat offenders may be blocked or permanently banned without prior warning.

••••

Disclaimer: The Liberty Beacon contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available to our readers under the provisions of “fair use” in an effort to advance a better understanding of political, health, economic and social issues. The material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving it for research and educational purposes. If you wish to use copyrighted material for purposes other than “fair use” you must request permission from the copyright owner.

••••

Follow TLB on Twitter @thetlbproject

1 Comment on First College, now NBA To Assign ‘Adversity Score’ To Professional Basketball

  1. “Teams have been objectively evaluating the skills, character, and overall quality of a player when they decide to sign him. They don’t consider all the factors that may have made a person a worse basketball player, such as the fact that he’s 150 pounds overweight, ten years past his prime, and hasn’t played basketball since junior high.

    Watch the NBA become a joke and start losing revenue; that just might bring some ‘common sense’ back to the NBA!

    Then again…at 60+, 150 pounds overweight, disadvantaged since birth, and mixed race, I just might apply for the NBA myself!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*