Scientific Breakthrough Enables Cats to Vocalise Their Thoughts

No-one will ever Regret it, Experts Predict

Scientists in the UK have developed a device that enables cats’ owners to know what they are thinking.

The small electronic instrument the size of a pea (and thus roughly the same size as the cat’s brain) was developed by technicians at Futile Gizmos Inc, in Pointless Nebraska. It attaches unobtrusively to the cat’s collar or alternatively can be stapled to its head so that its three hundred terabyte processor can convert the minute electronic impulses of the cat’s brain into speech through a tiny electronic vocoder.

It is known as the Feline Universal Cognitive Unit, Mark 2 (The FucU 2) and will be available in pet stores in the US from January.

It is expected to cost around the same as a Toyota Avensis, a price millions of cat lovers will be willing to pay for the pleasure of finally knowing what their cat is really thinking.

Field trials on thousands of cats have already revealed some remarkable insights into a cat’s hitherto secret thoughts.

The three most common cat thoughts thus far revealed by the Fuc-u 2 are, in reverse order:

3. “Have you any idea how hard it is to look gorgeous 24/7?”

2. “I’m gonna take your ruddy arm off at the elbow if you don’t stop that.”

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About the Author: Steve Cook is an avid researcher, a concerned Citizen and one hell of a writer. He just also happens to be the Director of the TLB Project website UK Reloaded (home based in England, UK) where the article above originated.

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The Liberty Beacon Project is now expanding at a near exponential rate, and for this we are grateful and excited! But we must also be practical. For 7 years we have not asked for any donations, and have built this project with our own funds as we grew. We are now experiencing ever increasing growing pains due to the large number of websites and projects we represent. So we have just installed donation buttons on our websites and ask that you consider this when you visit them. Nothing is too small. We thank you for all your support and your considerations … (TLB)

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Disclaimer: TLB websites contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available to our readers under the provisions of “fair use” in an effort to advance a better understanding of political, health, economic and social issues. The material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving it for research and educational purposes. If you wish to use copyrighted material for purposes other than “fair use” you must request permission from the copyright owner.

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Click on the image below to visit TLB Project on twitter …

••••

The Liberty Beacon Project is now expanding at a near exponential rate, and for this we are grateful and excited! But we must also be practical. For 7 years we have not asked for any donations, and have built this project with our own funds as we grew. We are now experiencing ever increasing growing pains due to the large number of websites and projects we represent. So we have just installed donation buttons on our websites and ask that you consider this when you visit them. Nothing is too small. We thank you for all your support and your considerations … (TLB)

••••

Comment Policy: As a privately owned web site, we reserve the right to remove comments that contain spam, advertising, vulgarity, threats of violence, racism, or personal/abusive attacks on other users. This also applies to trolling, the use of more than one alias, or just intentional mischief. Enforcement of this policy is at the discretion of this websites administrators. Repeat offenders may be blocked or permanently banned without prior warning.

••••

Disclaimer: TLB websites contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available to our readers under the provisions of “fair use” in an effort to advance a better understanding of political, health, economic and social issues. The material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving it for research and educational purposes. If you wish to use copyrighted material for purposes other than “fair use” you must request permission from the copyright owner.

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Disclaimer: The information and opinions shared are for informational purposes only including, but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material are not intended as medical advice or instruction. Nothing mentioned is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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