Separation of Church & State

What do you get when you have separation of church and state? Well, you get millions of dead babies, men marrying men, and little boys with their peckers cut off. God Bless ‘Murica!

Commentary by: Bill the Butcher

Let’s start with that. God Bless America. If you have God Bless America right on top of the Washington Monument, and your politicians take an oath on the Bible then how can there be any concept of separation. Why not George Carlin Bless America. Or Ellen Degenerate Bless America. Now that’s separation of church and state. If I ever get elected I’m taking my oath on the Karma Sutra! That fits the moral fiber of America perfectly!

Take Senator “Better Than You” getting ready to vote on a very personal, rather theological topic such as, say abortion. Now his, or her (Depending on how they unzip their pants) honor is taking into consideration all the implications thereof. They’ve kissed their fair share of babies, been to a fundraiser down at the Ladies’ Auxiliary of Marry a Doctor and make more babies, and has Jesus’ words about offending one of these little ones tattooed on their butts. Not to mention you’ll find them down at the First Baptist Church and Catfish Emporium every Sunday so the voters can get a good look at them. They can’t take communion because their hair will catch on fire, but rest assured that their vote will remain true to the myth of separation of church and state. If you believe in that have I got a church for you, and it’s on sale!

You can not separate a person’s moral compass from government

Verily, verily I say unto you that you can not separate a person’s moral compass from government. Though the term moral compass being used in the same breath as the word government is a bit of an oxymoron, don’t you think? And trying to mix tax money with religion is a perfect rendition of a whore in church. Hand in hoof! Lord, I’m sorry I said that. I promise I won’t say that no more.

“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers!” – Shakespeare

Crossing myself with Holy Water let’s continue. I would submit to you that America has lost its moral compass. Oh, they found Plymouth Rock just fine, but everything went south right after that. During the impeachment trial of the Right Honorable Bill Clinton it was arrived at that Monica didn’t swallow by reason of the stain on her dress, conclusively proving that her action did not constitute full fellatio in the eyes of the law, and Bill walked! Didn’t Shakespeare say, “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers!” Just Saying.

So the Supreme Court has been moving insidiously toward recognizing what we already know. We will never have true separation of church and state until AI runs for president and congress is reduced to a kiosk. One from Column A or two from Column B. As long as humans are involved they will always do what they think God wants them to do, be it YHWH, Allah, or The Flying SpaghettiMonster.

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If you like your snake you can keep your snake

Let’s take a look at the constitutional reasoning behind this idea. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. It just says that Congress can’t establish a religion. If you want to kiss a snake in Arkansas go ahead and kiss a snake. Congress can’t choose your snake for you. All except in Utah, but that’s a snake of another color. It did not say you couldn’t vote for the snake of your choice, Bill Clinton being a good example of this.

So, as you can see, religion and politics have always been in bed together. No, that wasn’t a pun, Monica being a good example of that! Remember that political pendulum I told you about. Well, it’s still a-swinging. Been on the left side for a while, and it’s all over now, and it sure is Monday, but in the words of the Prophet Jerry Garcia, “We will survive!”

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This article (Separation of Church and State) is republished by contribution with attribution to the author Bill the Butcher and The Butcher Shop.

About The Author: Bill the Butcher is the purveyor of The Butcher Shop which is a collection of independent writers ranging from journalists to op/ed, from conservative to liberal. Whatever cut of literary meat you prefer the Butcher Shop is here to serve.

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Separation of Church & State