Stupid Is As Stupid Does
Satire by: Woodward & Witt
Remember that scene from the movie Law Abiding Citizen where the guy slips a bomb into the judge’s cell phone, which blows up when her honor takes a call? Nothing brings reality home like taking a a missile to the ear while calling mama for a food package from the barracks in the war zone. сукин сын!
And it happened while Putin was giving a New Year’s speech about how bad he is and how the Ukrainians had better watch out. You can’t make this stuff up, folks. First off, how’d they get service. We couldn’t get service here in Tennessee after a blizzard. Hey, I ain’t even gonna lie to you. The service is so bad that you have to go to McDonalds to place an internet order to Sonic. But Dumbinsky could call his mama on Ukraine Bell?
Oh this is good. Yeah! And send some borscht, potato salad, and don’t forget the vodka. ‘Scruze me . . . I have another call. Boom! Of course the Ruskies will spin it and try to find a mama clause in the Geneva Convention. Thou shalt not bomb an iPhone.
This is almost as funny as Elon Musk hooking up Iran to Facebook with all them satellites after the Iranian rulers told God to scramble the signal. And you people think these idiots are going to take over the world? All that because a bunch of chicks took off their head dress. You oughta see what they take off in Austin. But, I digress.
And the Chinese. Yeah, I’m gonna go there. Gave us COVID from par boiled bats, and then the bats had them for lunch. Lock everybody down, and then (Wait for it) turn everyone lose! Consequently everyone and their dog got sick. Sorry. No dogs. They ate all them during the lockdown. Or is that Koreans? Anyway they are dropping like flies on bad Chopped Suey. I guess the plan is for everyone to catch it and anyone who is left will be immune. What are you worried about? There’ll be some left. Trust me. There’s more than enough Chinese to go around.
The prophet, George Carlin told us that if we kept a list of all the stupid people you meet in a given day you’d be surprised at the number by the end of the day. And it’s so obvious. I did an article, in fact it came out just today Russia Has never Won, and Will Never Win a War. I’d like to expand on that. No Super power can beat an insurgency. Think about that. Take all the time you need. Vietnam against France. Fail! Russia against Afghanistan. Fail! United States against Vietnam (The Sequel) Fail! The United States against Afghanistan (The Return of The Taliban) Fail! What’s the common factor? Forget the body count. They never quit. Your nuclear bombs are worthless.
The other common factor is you are letting stupid people run the world. Let’s see: Skull and Bones, The Illuminati, The New World Order, and let us not forget The World Economic Forum. Add ‘em up. Let’s see . . . Naught from Naught equals Naught. What does that give you about what . . . Eighty or so old men ruling the world? And a Wookie in a Tu Tu with The Duck Dynasty damn near overthrowing the American Government back on January 6th. Hey! That really happened. Over a year of hearings with DC cops crying like little girls. And it evolved. From mob to riot to insurrection. Even Putin said, “Dayum! Ukraine should be easy.”
And Putin ain’t got nothing to say right now. He’s too busy coughing, grabbing onto that table and trying to saddle up that stuffed bear he jumps on at times like this. What are you laughing about. Your president is stumbling around the Rose Garden looking for a Girl Scout. I’d love to continue about football players having heart attacks on the field, forty year old sports casters dropping dead, and little boys having strokes after taking a COVID booster, but that’s none of my business. Hey. Gotta go. I have a call.
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