Suey!

by The Butcher Shop, a (TLB) Contributor 

Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss. Now we’re entertained by a federal lawsuit claiming that President Trump stole a kiss in an RV during his campaign. I suppose we’re lucky he wasn’t caught kissing any babies. God knows where that might have gone.

And the mainstream media is rolling in it like a dog in a dead armadillo. I went to YouTube and had no problem finding a dozen or more videos on “kissgate.” Apparently this kiss changed Ms Johnson’s life. Here comes the PTSD!

Once I watched a video by a dog psychologist. Now THERE’S a night with too much whiskey in it! Anyway, he said that if you yawn in front of your dog, and the dog yawns back, that means that you and the dog are bonded. So, accordingly, I picked up my Chihuahua, Cleo, and yawned in her face. Now I know what it’s like to be French kissed by a dog! It was certainly a red letter day in MY life!

Looks like President Trump has kissed a dog, too. I’m beginning to wonder if there’s any coin in federal lawsuits. Or maybe publicity for the suee. If after a speech I could grab some UT co-ed, and lay one one her so she can sue me.

Then it hits the papers, and all the liberals buy my books and read my articles to see if I’m as big an S.O.B. as they’ve been told. Of course I’d deny it. Have Clayton Hunt stand up there with his pink AR15 endorsing me. Maybe kiss HIM! Yeah! That’s the ticket! I’ll have the libtards reading every word I write, the conservatives having me kiss their wives and daughters, and the LGBTQ claiming that I’d come out of the closet. SUUUUEY! Pig, Pig, Pig, Pig!

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