Protesters Pull Down Joe Biden After Mistaking Him For Old Racist Statue WASHINGTON, D.C.—Enraged protesters were marching through D.C. toppling racist statues when they came upon one standing on a street corner. The archaic, racist […]
Lisa Page To Teach College Course On How To Make Yourself Out To Be A Victim CAMBRIDGE, MA—After Lisa Page finally spoke out against President Trump, masterfully painting herself as the target of Trump’s oppression […]
Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record NEW YORK, NY—In an inspiring story from the world of professional cycling, a motorcyclist who identifies as a bicyclist has crushed all the regular bicyclists, setting an […]
RNC Raising Money To Help Democrats Televise Five Debates A Week WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Republican National Committee has launched an ambitious fundraiser to help the Democrats televise a debate every weeknight. The move is expected to […]
Nobel Peace Prize Committee Criticized For Selecting Winner Who Actually Did Something For World Peace OSLO—The Norwegian Nobel Committee has come under intense criticism after betraying one of its core values: handing the award out […]
Hillary Clinton Announces She Will Seek Reelection As President Of The United States WASHINGTON, D.C.—Hillary Clinton has announced that after much debate she will seek reelection as president of the United States. Pundits on MSNBC, […]
Walmart Discontinues Auto Part Sales To Prevent Car Accidents BENTONVILLE, AR—In a bold move intended to curb the thousands of deaths from vehicles each and every day, Walmart has decided to stop selling auto parts, sources […]
Trump To Buy Greenland, Install Shiplap, Hardwood Floors, Flip For Profit NUUK, GREENLAND—There have been rumors that President Trump was considering buying Greenland, and Trump has now confirmed those rumors, revealing that he sees it […]
Archeologists Discover Apostle Peter’s Concealed Carry Permit via Babylon Bee KEDAR—Archaeologists outside Jerusalem in the Kedar area have uncovered what they believe to be the concealed carry permit of St. Peter, also known as Simon […]
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