Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Satire – By: Bill the Butcher

When, in the course of human events, you must pull your head out of Mr. Ass and think every now and then. Common sense is a rare commodity these days. The reason for this is theoretically common sense is, well, common, so it only goes to say that everyone has it. Don’t eat raw fish, don’t drink blended whiskey, don’t hit on the big guy’s girlfriend. Little things that make life’s road just a little less bumpy.

If you’re going to tell a lie, tell a big one

The Prophet, Adolph Hitler once said in his best selling book, “If you’re going to tell a lie, tell a big one, and if you repeat it long enough it will eventually become the truth!” Or words to that effect. I have to qualify my quote from that book because I’ve never actually read it. I mean, who in their right mind would? And I have to make allowances for people who feverishly scan the works of other people such as myself looking for a missing comma in the hope of discrediting all two thousand of my published articles, three thousand songs, five books, and any assorted words of wisdom that I may have left on various restroom walls around this great nation. But, that is the world we live in, and that is exactly what I’m talking about!

The internet has destroyed civilization

The internet has destroyed civilization. Read that again. How, you may ask did the internet destroy civilization? It did it by allowing stupid, no talent people to call themselves writers and thus proliferating their lame brain ideas in perpetuity for governments, laws, and religions to be based upon. And it’s insidious.

They certainly weren’t equal right after the cord was cut

Take the simple idea, We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal. Sounds simple, however while all men are created equal, when these noble words were penned please note that all men meant all land owning white men of the proper religion and connections. It did not mention women. Now, this was before the advent of transgender where such diversity is in the mind and not the eye of the beholder. It also did not include men finding themselves at the darker end of fifty shades of grey. It took over two hundred years, a civil war, a civil rights rebellion, the sixties, and Michael Jackson before we could even conceive of all men being created equal by any stretch of the imagination because while they might have been created equal they certainly weren’t equal right after the cord was cut!

Picking up your tab for your vote

You think this has been resolved? Au Contrairé. What do you think all the fuss is about concerning voting. Back in the day you went to a bar, got drunk, some guy picked up your tab for your vote and you stumbled home to your non-voting wife. God Bless ‘Murica! Now you have to be of voting age, in the right district (color), be a citizen of this country and have a picture ID of you in the gender of your choice. If you have all these things, and don’t live in Texas, you will be allowed to get in line, vote, and take COVID home with you in a doggy bag. After which some wing nut will show up and properly stuff the ballot box to give the election that secret sauce we’ve all come to expect. And, if you don’t believe in an after life then what are all those zombies doing standing in line at the polls for?

The Second Amendment has one sentence and a couple of commas. Like a George Carlin joke! All amendments are created equal, until they get ratified! The mistake that the founding fathers made was mentioning militia. The definition of militia has evolved in the last two hundred years or so. When first included in the amendment it meant anyone with a gun who could find the courthouse square when the Indians came a calling. From there we got the army, the national guard, reserves, law enforcement, self appointed vigilantes, active shooters, practically anyone but John Q. Citizen, and certainly not the Uvaldé Police Department!

Stop! Or I’ll say, ‘Stop’ again!”

What it boiled down to was the powers that be want you to be properly vetted and licensed before you shoot someone. They want your guns, leaving you facing a home invasion yelling, “Stop! Or I’ll say, ‘Stop’ again!” And the amendment ends with The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed! Consequently the government has been fringing almost before the ink dried. You theoretically have the right to bear them arms, but if you believe that then I invite you to strap on a pistol, parade into any courtroom in the country reciting the Second Amendment, and I’ll notify your survivors for you.

Common sense does not apply to that amendment, or for that matter any amendment or the whole damn constitution. It’s like reading the Bible. You know, that book a politician is supposed to lay their right hand on when when swear to God to uphold protect and defend the Constitution. In spite of the idea of the separation of church and state this is very holy stuff. The Bible supposedly has God’s DNA on it. I don’t know about that, but I do know that it doesn’t have any politicians’ DNA there!

There is no end to the lack of common sense within the human Genome

There is no end to the lack of common sense within the human Genome. It’s just not there! I could enumerate enough examples to fill a book, call it inspired, and start a religion, but then the whole mess would start all over again. But, in the light of that I’d like to quote Jesus at this point about treating others as you’d like to be treated, but then there was this girl I met in New York. The one with all them whips and chains, so there’s that . . .

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