“Apparently” … There’s That Word Again

“Apparently” … There’s That Word Again

Commentary by: Bill the Butcher

Putin broke his silence about the crash late last Thursday, calling Progozhin “a man with a complicated fate, who has made many serious mistakes in his life.” (NBC News)

“Apparently” when Progozhin’s plane fell out of the sky like a lead balloon there was some kind of malfunction. You think? I have it from anonymous sources that there was a betting pool as to how long Putin was gonna let this hot dog vendor zip around Russia like a Czar until he served him cyanide cheesecake. Now give Ras-Putin a break. This guy only invaded Russia, barked orders at the Supreme Hoopla all to within one hundred and twenty-five miles of Putin’s bedroom when he suddenly decided to take the exit to Albuquerque or somewhere, and Putin said publicly, “There! Now we can be friends again.” (Tip of the hat to Doc Holliday

There is a book that was written by a friend of mine, Laurence Gonzales, you can find it on Amazon by searching “Deep Survival.” Anyway, it’s a study about who lives, who dies, and why. It expounds upon the amazing propensity of otherwise intelligent people suddenly doing something so stupid it’s off the charts. Something such as a Navy pilot landing on an aircraft carrier and pushes the yoke forward instead of pulling it backwards and crashing into the stern of the ship. That would be where the beer cooler usually is for all you bass fisherman out there. But, as you can clearly understand, smashing into the a$$ of the USS Nimitz at around one hundred and fifty MPH is a bad hair day.

One thing that strikes me is how open the crash site is. Everyone and their uncle were allowed to watch as forensic personnel mopped up goo and gathered teeth. Civilians even put it on social media. I didn’t know they even HAD social media in Russia. Comrade O’ Web! Flowers all over The Motherland after Putin wiped a salty tear out of his eye on Commie TV. He said that his “beloved” friend “made a few mistakes.” Yeah! Like coming back to Russia, maybe!

But the media, the CIA, the FBI, and all the ships at sea are nookie-footing around this because they’re not sure Proggy’s really gone. Oh, he is. Trust me. He’s as dead as fried chicken with the other nine Bolsheviks who were stupid enough to get on that plane in Moscow. Moscow? MOSCOW! With Vladimir looking out the window of the Kremlin right AT them? And a hundred miles an twenty-eight thousand feet in the air later long plane went BOOM! This is my surprised face.

Let me explain this image. In the movie, Godfather II, Tom Hagen explains to Frank Pentangeli the cost of opposing the Emperor. The Mafia was organized much like the Roman Empire. The traitor gets a choice of offing himself (Or HERself. The Romans were big into equal rights.) If they did so, then their family got to keep the house, bank account and the Centurions didn’t rape their women folk near as bad. If they didn’t? Well, do the math. Caesar goes over you once with nothing left over.

Progozhin was supposed to run off to Belarus, take a hot bath and open his veins. Well, he didn’t so “someone” opened them for him. It remains as to what will happen to his money and family, but I imagine that’s in good hands. Of course, conspiracy theories will abound with Proggy, John Lennon, and Elvis starting a band, but hey! What’s Facebook for, right? Vlad has indicated that most likely he will probably not be able to attend the funeral because he’s planning to eat some borscht with the Widow Progozhin that day. Of course, Biden won’t be there because bombing his plane isn’t necessary. Just letting him walk up the steps is life threatening enough for him.

And that will be the end the tangled tale of The Mouse That Roared. The war will continue, the Russian people will forever lament PaPa John’s, one day soon Witt & Wittier Films will release The Life and Times of Bungalow Bill in Proggy’s memory and make a LOT of money! And we’ll feel really bad about that.

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