I Hate America!

by The Butcher Shop, a (TLB) Contributor 

I hate America! There was a time when who you voted for made no difference at all. I even knew a man who got two bumper stickers, one for each presidential candidate, and whoever won, THAT’S the one he put on his pickup. I don’t know if party affiliation really made a lot of difference to anybody.

I hate America! I lived through riots, Vietnam, The Beatles, and Timothy Leary. Gay people were just funny. If you lived with a girl, but were not married then you were “shacked up!” If someone lived with your sister in that situation they were “jacked up!”

I hate America! When we went to war we went to WAR! The enemy was the enemy, but WE were Americans! The hippies may have protested, but when it came right down to it they were Americans too, and the “free speech” zone was called AMERICA!

I hate America! No matter if you liked him or not, the president was the president. We respected our leaders and no congressman, that’s right, congressMAN would waste our time and money filing endless impeachment suits. They just kissed babies.

I hate America! If you held a girl down and forced sex on her it was called rape and was a capital crime. If you winked at her at a party it was called flirting, punishable by marriage. You held doors for ladies, and said, “ma’am, and “hon” without having to worry about gender neutral pronouns.

I hate America! Summer was just summer. Global warming was followed by global cooling every year without fail. The water from your garden hose was fit for human consumption and whatever you caught from a “bad girl” could be cured by a shot of penicillin.

I hate America! The day Kennedy was shot all Americans grieved. No one considered his private life, mistakes he’d made while in office or what kind of shoes his wife wore. We even got mad when she married that Greek! She was the president’s WIFE by God! I, personally, have hated Greeks ever since!

I hate America because America hates itself. At some point we went from AmeriCAN to AmeriCAN’T! The very idea that some skinny communist in Moscow is considered a world power or China has “trade” agreements! During the Cuban missile crisis Kennedy just told Khrushchev, “Ok Lunger, let’s do it, and Khrushchev beat his desk with a shoe! We’ve lost our direction, our national identity, even our common decency. We’ve corrupted our constitution with hodgepodge and lies, and have become so politically correct that we are permanently politically askew. We live in a world that laughs at us while breaking in to steal all they can. We need to step back, take a breath, and double down.

I hate America . . . but I still love the dream!

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