Same as Yesterday – Trying to Take Over the World

Same as Yesterday. . . Trying to Take Over the World

Commentary by Bill the Butcher 

I went to the wise man, and I asked, “Wise sir, where is God that I might know Him?” And the wise man said, “Your God is what you think about most of the day!”

There is a point where a religion stops being a religion and begins to be a political system. That’s where Islam is today. Actually, Islam has been there for a very long time. When Muhammad raced across the desert from Mecca to Medina his purpose was to civilize and organize the countless tribes on the Arabian Peninsula into one cohesive unit. At first it was a good idea. The people there were as diverse as possible, and they had ways that were developed over centuries of isolation, evolved in a very harsh world. It was routine to bury a girl alive if she was the first born. Hundreds of gods were worshiped, and the merchants in Mecca made a killing all based around this big stone building they controlled and charged a fee for entry to pray to whatever god one wished to at that particular time.

Now I don’t care if Muhammad saw an angel, a palm tree, or camel dung. Something made him seize upon the idea of one God, one world and one book. He began to recite, and those recitations became the Holy Quran. The recitations started out simply enough. There was one God. That god created all things, controlled all things, and he didn’t like to be second guessed. You had to pray to that god five times a day. God liked dates but didn’t care a whole lot about ham sandwiches. He didn’t approve of burying newborn girls so in short order there was an abundance of women but no problem. A man could have his choice of any four he wanted so long as they weren’t claimed by someone else. And these ladies had to keep their biscuits in the oven and their buns in the bed, as the Prophet, Kinky Friedman said so elegantly said. (Not all of Muhammad’s ideas were all that bad.)

Muhammad was not a bum, or a loser. He was a successful merchant who made his fortune by being able to take a caravan across the desert, sell the goods, and bring the money home to his backers, a pretty good gig for six hundred AD. He was married to a rich old lady who loved him and supported him in all he did. As a matter of fact, she’s the one who pushed him on when he came home and told her about his first vision. Muhammad just thought he’d gotten too much sun.

At first, he didn’t make much of a stir. He’d trot over to the Ol’ Kaaba and hang out, talking about his ideas and the people who sold the tickets didn’t pay him much mind. Their logic was simple. He was trying to open a Quickie Mart with one beer, and they already had a Walmart with a liquor store! Who in their right mind would listen to him?

Friends and neighbors, never underestimate the power of religion. There is this gene in humans that will make them accept anything that suits their fancy so long as the get some kind of reward, and they get to look down on somebody else.

“Everybody’s got to have somebody to look down on
Someone to be better than just anytime they please”

The poor people of Mecca who couldn’t afford the price of whiskey . . . well, they just trotted right on over to ol’ “One God” Muhammad. The math was simple. There were more people who could count to one, than people who could count to gazillion!

If he had left the money changers alone Muhammad would have finished his life eating dates, reciting, and gathering a few followers. But there were greater things in store for our retired wagon master. In short order he got cross ways with the establishment, and they ran him out of town on a rail, or rather a camel. He went up to Medina, where he found a ready market for his ideas, and at that point he added a special sauce.

Now here we have to get into “inspiration.” I remember back when I wrote, “Sharon.” Like my friend, Jay, says, “I ain’t even gonna lie to you.” I’d get up every morning, mix up a pitcher of Sangria with the fruit floating in it, retire to my porch, pour a glass and write. When the book came out some people started saying, “Inspired!” I just said, “Far out!” Muhammad didn’t drink, but he sure could spin a yarn, just like Joseph Smith. The tales he told struck a chord with the desert tribes and after getting run off from Mecca, Muhammad added a new twist. He pulled everyone into an army with one simple motto: Kick their butts and take their sluts. Now I’m not saying he was wrong. When you get run off from your hometown because you want to talk about your religion you tend to get upset.

At this point the recitations began to change. The Quran began to acquire rules to die for. Now bear in mind these rules were adapted for people living in hell, with no money, no water and no way out of a spot of desert that only a FOOL would call home, but, that having been said, Muhammad recited rules that would pretty much get you through the day. Problem was, in the end, if you didn’t follow the rules, you most definitely wouldn’t see the next day, because he’d cut your head off! Hey! Moses would stone you. What’s good for the sheep is good for the goat.

That is where religion, and secularism should separate. There is a line between, “. . . if they do not hear you leave and shake the very dust from your feet,” to “Bend over and stretch your neck!” And I’m not just dogging on Muhammad, everybody’s done it. The Catholics burned heretics and the Pilgrims burned witches. Muhammad was unique in that he after took on a mess he HAD to devise a system to get everyone on the same sheet of music, but folks, that’s what it really became. . . a political system, not a religion at that point. Uh, a little like the Catholic but we won’t say that bad word. The Pope is white, and Muhammad was not so you get what you got.

Muhammad’s dream did not survive him. Not even for five minutes. Upon his death one of his inner circle charged out of the tent screaming, “I will slay the first man who says the prophet has ever died!” Up until that moment his followers really DID believe in him. They really DID hang on his every word, and it really DID work for them. But the very rules he set up were the undoing of his belief set.

There is no God but Allah, and Muhammad is His prophet!

Work with me here, if the Prophet is dead then who is now running the show? Well, there are two approaches to that question. Either someone in Muhammad’s direct line, or someone who is inspired by God to take his place, but no one can really take his place because when Aisha gave the devout her palm leaves covered with the sayings upon them, she forgot to say “Simon says,” and Muslims are chopping heads off over that clerical error to this very day! Clerical as in cleric . . . well you know.

Now this is a very condensed version of history, but I used it to set up my point for this entire article. In the desert today there are groups of people who are still living by what THEY consider to be the letter of the “law.” Forget iPhones, forget world commerce, and space travel, forget global warming, (they already GOT that,) if a pretty girl puts on lipstick, you stone her! OK, this doesn’t work.

The idea of God is that God made it, we run it. If you don’t follow the wishes of that god then HE will take care of it, either here or THERE! You don’t have to burn people or stone pretty girls, because God is in control. You can’t second guess God! Burn a pretty girl in France and five hundred years later, “Oops, a SAINT!” And 99.9999% of Muslims go through their entire life without flying a single plane through one building.

This modern Islam is a political system with religious overtones, but it is a system none the less. And Sharia Law proceeds from the Quran which is the Arabian Bill of Rights, and more than a few lefts. Always remember that before Muhammad they were throwing the first-born baby girls out on the sand. Under Sharia Law you can slap a wife who talks back. Like I said, the Prophet was not wrong about everything. And I’m not going to suck up and try to be politically correct here, but there are good Muslims. They’re the ones who have become westernized. Muslims who were born and raised in New York and the only desert they want to see is in Las Vegas during vacation. Businessmen who really DO start Quickie Marts and the community loves them because they really DO try to fit in, and they will order anything you want to be put on the shelf.

Then there are the “other” Muslims. Crazy-eyed, sociopathic, and determined to take over the world. These people make good use of our freedom of religion, but let me clue you in. When you stop being a religion and become a political system that rule no longer applies! When you start cutting journalist’s heads off on YouTube you have just crossed that line, swam the river, and stomped BACK off into that desert you came from.

The civilized nations of the world need to come together on this. If a system behaves like that you put a fence around them and don’t let anybody OUT or IN! You don’t let radicals preach this system of death and destruction in their “holy” places. Make the rule real simple. “If we catch you doing this, we will close you DOWN!” I can hear it already, “Oh Wilbur, you’re attacking freedom of religion.” No, I’m NOT! Everyone has a right to pray any way they want, but people have a right to LIVE too! You don’t like the way Frenchi dresses then stop LOOKING at her, you pervert! Be like the Amish. If you don’t follow the party line, they shun you. “Gettith thy a$$ith outta here!”

We need to get this right, people, and quit dilly-dallying around. And play by the rules THEY set. They don’t like Bibles in Arabia, fine. . . we don’t like Qurans in Austin. You want your women folk to stomp around in a black bed sheet from head to toe, hey, that’s cool. That Texas heat will take care of that, but don’t you harm my granddaughter because she wears jeans and boots. And stop killing people just because they don’t agree with you. We Texans don’t play that. You kill one of us and we will kill you back!

The measure of any religion is the happiness and success of the people who adhere to it. If I see a Muslim who owns five Quickie Marts, I am proud. He lived the dream. What he does in his house is his business. I want him to prosper, send all his kids to UT and live a good, long life. Truth is I’ve never met a Muslim who subscribes to the radical nonsense streaming out of the Middle East. That’s why they’re HERE! They’re tired of it too.

One of my dearest friends is a woman in New Jersey. I’ve known her since she was twelve. She’s a mother now, married to a fine man, a DOCTOR and she wears that long black get up every day. She also loves hot dogs and baseball. And I love HER! Platonically of course. Allah is watching!

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