The Donald Went Down to Georgia – The Evolution of the Imperial Presidency

The Donald Went Down to Georgia – The Evolution of the Imperial Presidency

Commentary by: Bill the Butcher

I’m not going to destroy this beautiful action with useless legality!

When asked by which title he wished to be addressed after becoming the Father of the country, George Washington answered, “Mr. President.” E Pluribus Unum. One out of many. John Q. Citizen. Nothing more, nothing less.

Four score and seven years later Abraham Lincoln became the most photographed president in history up until that time, and he held that title until the advent of the flash bulb. Up until then they just used gunpowder on a stick.

The founding fathers were very cognizant of the publicly factor when applied to public figures. Everybody wants to get next to a “Happening Guy!” And, contrary to what you may have been led to believe, there weren’t any “Happening Girls” until Brigham Young’s thirty-five wives told him that they weren’t gonna cook supper no more until they got the vote.

All through the two hundred and some odd years after Washington took the oath the party’s pick strived to lead the “Great Experiment” without being encumbered by the constitution. Oh, they paid homage to it, just like they did to that Bible they put their hand on during their inauguration. They just didn’t let that stuff confuse things as they navigated the twists and turns of government so as not to let the pomp and circumstance of the ceremony get in the way of things like prohibition, the Great Society or Monica Lewinsky.

And in spite of the warning of Benjamin Franklin they didn’t even try to keep a Republic. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory. Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation and suspended Habeas Corpus with the same pen. Just thought you should know.

But the “people” were far from the smoke filled rooms of the Beltway or Tammany Hall and never the two shall cross. To my way of thinking there has been only one American President since Washington did his thing. Jimmy Carter! The party bosses said, “Screw that!” and replaced him with a movie star. Y’all Google that if you wanna.

By 1933 the office of the president had morphed into a personification of everyone’s best friend with just a little touch of Big Brother. Before you think this was an American phenomenon I must remind you of Der Fuhrer, Stalin, and such nondescripts as Mussolini and Tojo. There were a lot of crabs in the barrel that year. Again, everybody wants to get next to a “Happening Guy!” And in short order the New World Order was happening.

Meanwhile, Roosevelt was running for Re-election time and time again. When he finally decided to run for King, God blew his brains out down in Georgia somewhere and talk about nondescript! Truman! Wanna know the real reason Harry Truman dropped those two Ear Splittin’ Schkle Boomers on Japan? Because he wanted to see if they’d work. That’s why. And it did. The Japs gave up world domination and started making Toyotas!

The office and public image of the office of the president continued to grow and evolve to fit the image of what a president should be. That’s should be! Not is! That’s why Lyndon waved his Johnson at practically every reporter that showed up at the White House, and JFK had more girlfriends than Hugh Hefner. He fiddled around so much it makes you wonder if the good man was sitting up there on the sixth floor that day. Anyway. Where was I?

As I pointed out, Carter was replaced by a movie star. (That would be Reagan for all you with inquiring minds out there.) And to prove how much is myth and how much is the man please take note that Ronald died of Alzheimer’s. He was born again crazy! Not a deal killer for public office. Also please note Carter’s still with us and Reagan is, well . . . not!

Both Bushes were pure hydro-carbon AI. I’m gonna lump them together because Clinton was just comic relief. King George 1 gave us the term New World Order and Junior Bush gave us . . . let’s see, war against everything except Fort Hood because he needed the landing strip for his frequent trips home to make BBQ for Vladimir. And, oh yes, when he was governor of Texas he installed two gurneys in the execution chamber at Huntsville Prison. In the words of the Prophet, Ron White, “While other states were doing away with the death penalty, Texas put in a fast lane!” Memorable quotes from Junior? “Well, I don’t know about that, but they sure got some goood samiches in there!” Y’all think I’m kidding, don’t ya?

By the time Obama came along the Office of the Presidency had become so highly polished that the parties that be thought it would be funny to run a black guy from South Chicago for grits and grins just to see if they could get away with it. Mr. President is what happened. The night before the election he was keeping his stuff in a cardboard box in the basement and the day after that he was unpacking that box in the East Wing of the White House. God Bless ‘Murica!

Obama proved that anybody, and I do mean anybody could grow up to be president. Heck, do an amendment and run Greta Thunberg! Obama didn’t do any harm. All but bathing the White House in rainbow colors that night. That was . . . special. But the electorate became so righteously pissed off at his wife’s school lunch program that they rose up in furious anger and elected Donald J. Trump!

Ok, give me a minute. I gotta grab a smoke. Ok. I’m back. Where to begin? Trump had some pretty good ideas. Ivanka was one. Looked her up on Google. Former Advisor to the President of the United States. Hey! She could advise me! Diggity Diggity! Trump also took advice from Rudy Giuliani and Anthony Fauci. He fired everybody else. He purportedly wanted to build a wall on the southern border. A wall that never got finished. Texas Governor, Greg Abbott just beat the Mexicans back across the Rio Bravo with bullwhips but apparently there was a bull whip clause somewhere in the constitution and he stopped. Trump did away with environmental protection and ushered in global warming for Canada. But his crowning achievement was losing Re-election to a guy who was hiding in the basement when he wasn’t licking little girls’ hair. Remember those string pulling image makers? Well, they’re baaack! And they ain’t gonna play with The Donald this time! You see, Trump was a reverse ringer the first time. The boys in the back room pitted him against a seasoned, professional politician who filled several slots. Hillary (I’m whatever you want me to be) Clinton. She could hand emails to the Chinese, bow to the King of Saudi Arabia, and shack up with Yoko Ono, and it was all good. No way she could lose. The Democrats were so sure of a landslide that they forgot to stuff the ballot boxes (A mistake they made up for in 2020.)

After four years and many Big Macs they put Trump out to pasture. But he refused to eat grass. In fact he started running for office again. So the bosses indicted and indicted, and indicted some more, but they forgot the first rule in their own playbook. The truth is what I tell you it is, and right now the truth is Donald Trump is filling up venues just like he did the first time. That’s called political reality and no democrat judge is going to change that. (If they’re impartial why do we need to know their political affiliation?) Trump is going to redefine the presidency. It is going to either revert to George Washington’s idea of “Mr. President or we will have to admit what the office has become and learn to live with it. In the final reel Trump, either knowingly, or unknowingly has shown us the Jaberwokie. It’s always been there. You could have seen it had you only looked.

Author’s Note: I hereby certify the above to be true. Even the parts that are not true which I designate to be true also. (I oughta be president!)

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