Who is God Anyhow?

Who is God Anyhow?

I don’t know why I decided to write about this. I’ve recently learned that the idea is not to find the perfect idea to write about or even what I think people will like, but its just to keep the creative flow going, like lying on a raft in a violent storm, hopefully taking me to safety. That’s the analogy that comes to mind in my precarious physical state.

So many thoughts come floating by, most are aborted and then I’ll choose one. It actually doesn’t matter which one I pick. The world is full of useful raw material ready to be plucked and manipulated into creation. Like a vast field of flowers, any one will do to beautify your table.

Drop the idea there is not enough ideas in the universe. We’ve been sold that bill of goods which results in an artist’s number one complaint: I don’t know what to paint or write. I used to tell myself- you don’t live in a box! But I didn’t always follow that admonition. It depended on how much I valued or degraded my ability to create, especially out of thin air. But that apparent nothingness in the air is rich with the source of life and creativity as well as a blank screen to fill. You just need to open the door. I mean literally that’s all you need to do. The rest will follow like milk and honey.

Have I reached this divine state? On rare occasions but enough to become the carrot I chase after.

What does this have to do with God? I haven’t clarified that yet, though the answer is brewing.

You see, I’m not writing this to preach to you like some internet guru with a carefully crafted pitch. It’s much more like a diary where I’m using paper to view my own thoughts. And maybe you will find something useful. After all, we are social beings (most of us) and we have this need or desire to share ourselves. By the way, have you noticed that some of the most incredibly social beings turn out to be not social at all? I was often such a patsy for these people but now I look with a wary eye before I trust them. There’s also the fact that we have been so worn out by internet promotion, everything from dish soap to secrets of life that caution and instant doubt have become synonymous with breathing.

So, in my relentless search for a cure for my cancer and other ailments, I’ve returned to the board I used long ago to write out my life. The answer is always creativity and the particular path we choose to follow as we express it. Often we misplace the board or write over because the original plans just didn’t work out. Or so we think. We got derailed by others, by confusions and failures and feel we’ve been betrayed.

Then we rely on other “experts” to bail us out. They must know better since we were wrong. Could be your parish priest, your mother, the guy on the subway who looks smart, even though he picks his nose.

What do we gain from this abandonment of purpose? Nothing I can think of or even speculate on except a loss of self. Like selling oneself to the devil.

Meanwhile, as I work this new plan into my life, I still follow my diet and supplements but they have taken a back burner to this renewal of purpose. They are just my “employees”.

That brings me back to “who is God “. You must be wondering, “What’s your point??” Well, I see I’ve answered the question. The awareness that appears to me now as I sorted out my thoughts is that you are divine nature and that is pure creativity. Boy, that sounds pretty lofty or that I live my life in that state every day. Ha! I wish. Well, wishing doesn’t cut it That’s hoping someone else will give it to you because you know you can’t. I mean of course you can’t because you’ve tried so many times! And all your experts have confirmed that you can’t.

So how do you escape from or overcome this apparent failure? My conclusion is my new understanding of “surrender ” which may sound like self-sacrifice. Its not that at all.

What is it? (A moment to clarify that)

Its abandonment of your fake self, mostly fashioned from your physical beingness, your job, etc. Stop thinking and God or whatever you choose to call it will arrive at your door saying, “Can you come out and play?”

You could choose to say “pray” instead of play. It almost doesn’t matter; prayer shouldn’t be serious anyway. What should you be praying for? Love, peace, harmony, affluence. All playful things.

Go play and find God.

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