CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide

CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide

TLB Editors note: Had Jeffrey Epstein read the article below, one would think his story could have had a far different conclusion.

Via The Babylon Bee

ATLANTA, GA – According to a report from the Centers for Disease Control released last week, people with inside, compromising knowledge of Bill and Hillary Clinton’s financial and political dealings are 843% more likely to commit suicide.

“We’ve never seen a single risk factor cause a spike of this magnitude,” a CDC spokesperson told reporters. “Interestingly, in spite of their increased suicide risk, people with dirt on the Clintons rarely show any warning signs of suicide, and they never leave a suicide note.”

Remarking about how abnormal it is, the spokesman again stressed the significance of the data.

“Therefore, we advise any American with detrimental information about Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, or the Clinton Foundation to forget about it as quickly as possible to avoid a greatly increased probability of taking your own life,” he cautioned.

“And—I swear—that’s all we know.”


(TLB) published this article from The Babylon Bee but not because we know anything about the Clintons or have any suspicions about them.

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2 Comments on CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide

  1. It is a spoof article. It is not to be correct or incorrect. Wake up and smell the Coffee Cindy.

  2. “CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide”
    This headline and premise is incorrect. Most of the people who have investigated or had too much damning evidence or information on the Clintons were murdered and their deaths made to look like suicides. Any real suicides constitute a very small percentage. The headline should have read, “CDC: People with Dirt on Clintons have 843% Greater Risk of Being Suicided”. But then, what would you expect from the CDC?

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