And Then Came … MonkeyPox
Commentary/Satire by: Bill the Butcher
MonkeyPox. Now I want you to just consider that for a moment. Remember back when Fauci and friends were contemplating just what to allow us to call COVID in public? First it was Corona, then Coronavirus, and finally COVID-19. Short, sweet, and medically sounding. Then there turned out to be so many strains of this thing that by COVID 3.0 they had to resort to Tic Toc to come up with new name. More hip. So they conferred with a few gamers and decided to call it Omicron. And you could only get rid of it with a light saber hidden in a needle. I AM yo fodder!
As you may know that all eventually fell apart. The CDC tried to resurrect the whole mess, but the news had moved on to more pressing matters such as some chick called Amber and a dude who played a pirate on a movie somewhere, and nobody could come up with a grabby name for the new flu so they had to dig into the treasure chest for a new end of the world, and by golly they found it. Some virus that made you get warts.
And what did they call it? MONKEYPOX! They finally revealed what they really thought of us by letting us know that their opinion of us was so low they considered us just to be a bunch of monkeys.
Now it’s not catching on very well. Even Black Lives Matter flinches a little when they get grouped with a bunch of silverbacks. Folks in California? . . . the jury’s still out. But, it’s very serious. Belgium is already considering lockdowns. And God knows if you can catch something in Belgium you can catch it anywhere.
I googled it and never could get a definitive answer on what it does, but I know I wouldn’t date a girl who had it. Have you seen those blisters? I mean with COVID at least you could be asymptomatic. Sneak around infecting people at McDonalds like Typhoid Mary at a church social, but this! Jesus Christ Sitting next to God Almighty waiting on you to show up naked!
And the CDC, WHO, Fauci, and even that Alzheimer’s patient in the White House is calling in the dogs and peeing on the fire. We’re all gonna get MonkeyPox. Stop eating bananas now! One good thing is the babies won’t be catching it from formula. Abbott Labs in Texas sprung a leak and the baby formula supply dried up. Ever notice how when something springs a leak in Texas everything dries up? Jus’ Sayin’.
I heard somewhere (now y’all don’t quote me on this) that the Pox may be sexually transmitted. Oh boy. Here we go again. Remember Fauci’s first greatest hit? HIV? Was Fauchi alive back during the Spanish Flu. Asking for a friend. Anyway, it’s been suggested that it may be a derivative of the Bull Dog Clap. I’ll admit it sure looks like it.
At any rate, saddle up. Here we go again. Yippee Ki Yi Yay dudes and dudettes. Sexually transmitted MonkeyPox direct from Wuhan China (Yeah. Y’all didn’t see that one coming did ya?). First it was a toilet paper shortage, then a formula shortage, and coming soon in a drugstore near you a banana shortage. God Save The Queen! Hey! Didn’t she get over COVID?
About The Author: Bill the Butcher is the purveyor of The Butcher Shop which is a collection of independent writers ranging from journalists to op/ed, from conservative to liberal. Whatever cut of literary meat you prefer the Butcher Shop is here to serve. View all posts by The Butcher Shop
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