Party’s Over & Donald’s Coming

 Commentary & Satire by Bill the Butcher

If you’re a writer, every now and then you’ll write something that even blows YOU away. I did that today. I’d written this religious thesis, comparable to Summa Theologica that I thought was earth shaking, and while basking in my glory I stumbled upon this Time Magazine piece. I think I’ve mentioned this piece before. Now, bear in mind it was a Time article and being of the northern persuasion I assumed what it was about, seeing as the picture was of Trump, but the angle took me by surprise. The writer pointed out that the Teflon Don was in a better position than he’d ever been in all his attempts before. And it followed up with an, “Oh God! What if this crazy bastard actually wins?” This is the terror of the liberal Democrat contingent and is the source of the Trump Derangement Syndrome. That’s not a joke! That’s real medical stuff.

So I did a little research and came to my own conclusions. In my expert opinion if Donald Trump don’t ride through Dallas in an open convertible there is a fair chance we are gonna see a Second Coming and it ain’t gonna be Jesus. Simultaneously another article hit the air and apparently the old boy has a little list and there’ll none of them be missed. Shades of The Night of the Long Knives.

So, ya’ll know me. I ran with it. Now before I continue let me tell you that I’ve called every election since I was in high school save one, Kinky Friedman vs Greg Abbott, but that was a personal choice, and I was drinking rather heavily at the time. So, when I actually add up all the “druthers” I think Trump’s gonna win. Then all he has to do is pardon himself and replace all those federal judges whose pencils were just a little too sharp. Of course, being me, I took off after the alphabet people with a touch of Holocaust and a dash of Texas nationalism and voila! Facebook, Google, Yahoo, and others took off after ME like a pack of savage rabbits. In three minutes flat!

I won’t put the link here because all those guys are still out there, and my freaking address is on NextDoor. Oh yeah. Them too. While one part of me cried, “Lawdy Lawdy, de paddy rollers is after me,” my professional side says, “Wait a minute! This is a hit!” I mean, all I really said was I think this long shot may just pan out. Trump can beat the odds and win! The Democrats are so shaken they are calling whores as witnesses to that circus in New York right now. And all their algorithms came out in mass against a second-rate comedian from Austin. That would be me. Google warned its readers about reading it, lest they might lose the faith in Das Kapital and Facebook just said I was “Spreading false information just to get reads.” Well, duh! It’s ok for some guy to lob off his pecker and run for Miss America but a nondescript writer from Austin can’t bet on a horse race?

If you wanna get people to read something just have some over educated, over paid bunch of Yankees tell them they can’t. There are people reading this article who are trying to find that Time article right now! You’d think I came up with a new miracle cure for E D! And of course, I’m rolling in this like a dog in a dead armadillo.

And for the record I do hope Trump wins. I’d vote for him if he showed up in a red suit and a pitchfork. And talk about a fox in the hen house! Shut the front door! We’re talking Hitler at a Bar Mitzvah! But there is something you need to take note of. That’s how close “they” are regulating our free speech. That’s not just MY free speech, it’s YOUR free speech, too! Right now, as we speak, YOUR Congress is considering legislation that basically punishes even THINKING anti semetically. Don’t Google that word, I just made it up. I may have committed a felony just writing it in that last line. And my granddaughter, Puck is a JEW! Does that mean she can’t put money on my books after they catch me? Let’s see. I’ve got to think! I’m circumcised. That’s gotta count for something. But I do like ham and eggs. Maybe a doctor’s note. I’ll get back to you. I have visions of hundreds of Democrats on their knees at the inauguration screaming, “Noooooooo!” Party’s over and Donald’s coming.

To be continued. . .



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