Commentary/Satire by Bill the Butcher

What do you “see” yourself as … ? This question has been insinuating itself into minds much greater than mine of late. But in actual fact it is an old concept. Prepare to be amazed.

There are two possibilities here. The first, of course, is the conservative reality standard. You look in the mirror in the morning and wherever you’re at, there you are. I must admit, it’s usually bad. Nowhere to go but up. But by and large you get over it and go on.

Most of us of reasonably sound mind understand that this is a mental condition affected by attitude and can be improved upon by mentally walking on the sunny side of the street. True, a couple hours of Austin traffic will sober you up and you’ll be yourself again by the time you get to your slaving job to make your pay. If the workday is a drag a little TV and a few whiskeys will soften the blow and tomorrow, you begin again.

No, that’s not what we’re talking about here. That’s internal. In the last era a new concept has arrived where what appeared to be otherwise sane, rational people began to externalize a belief or vision where that become trans-speciational (Don’t Google that word, I just added it to the language) and either imagined or actually believed that they were radically different from the suit of skin they were born in. It gives a whole new meaning to George Harrison’s “Within You or Without You!”

I believe it began with the homosexual community. Let’s look at that. Back in the day homosexual simply meant a man who was attracted to a man. For reasons of simplicity we’ll just let the lesbians lay. Oh, my bad. But, you know what I’m getting at. Using factory issued equipment to pursue a lifestyle a little bit left of Jesus and the Apostles, though I’m not sure about Judas, but that’s for another discussion. The behavior ranged all the way from the nice gay couple next door to the flaming queens of Montrose down in Houston. All that having been said, nobody in their right mind thought about whacking their wang off just yet.

This eventually gave us Drag Queens. Now there is no distinct dividing line here so don’t go tit for tat and please excuse the word “tit” as I’m using it in a purely literary context and not anatomical. There were, of course cross dressers during this metamorphosis but as I have said, I don’t believe the straight razors had not come out at this time.

So, there we were all in one place, well, not all in one place; there was “our” bars and then there was “their” bars, but by and large all were still homo-sapiens with different outlooks. I don’t know when it became chic to stop “dressing” like a woman and wanting to actually “be” a woman, but at some point, someone took one step for man and went to wearing panty hose and the step for mankind went from being an “outie” to being an “innie.” I would guess this probably first occurred in California.

I’m not going to get into trying to explain the surgery required to change Harry Butt to Suzie SweetCheeks but take my word for it, it involves a bit more than applying hot wax and giving a jerk. Over the years the surgical techniques have evolved but like trying to achieve the speed of light it’s just not quite there yet.

So, where is this all going? Ok! There is a long and winding road between changing sexes to speciation ie changing a University of Texas Coed into a cat. I guess that would be a pussy cat, I don’t know, unless you have a transgender who wants to also be a cat, but let’s just keep it simple. Then, with a little time and the DSM 1 2 3 4 5 and BAM! A whole new critter I choose to call “Catbitch” because it’s now assault if you should not buy into her psychosis and call a woman, girl, dog, or anything but the Siamese she purports to be. Welcome to Century 21!

Now, I’m going to Segway here for a bit. Long long ago, in a land far far away I went to Nashville and saw myself as a songwriter. I a short time I saw myself as starving, and right after that I saw myself sleeping in a studio on Westend Avenue. One day, as luck would have it, my manager (Yeah, I had one of those) dropped by to laugh in my face and handed me a legal pad.

He asked me what my favorite song was. It just so happened that John Anderson had just released “ Seminole Wind” and I was taken by it. So, my manager gave me a number two pencil and told me to write the words to the song. Although confused, I did as he’d asked me, and after I was finished, he took the pad and asked if I knew why he had me do that. Naturally I was clueless. So he told me. He wanted me to know how it felt to actually “write” a hit song. Feel the pencil, the words transferring to the yellow page, making a mistake while writing and going back to correct it, the whole shebang.

As crazy as it sounded, I did feel that feeling and actually felt the gratification of completing a hit song. Of all the songs I’d written, from that moment on I knew when a song was good or just a “mill” song fit for an album filler and not much more.

What my manager was doing was teaching me to set reasonable goals. I could write. The only question was what I’d write. To mentally separate the wheat from the chaff. I had felt the language, the meter and the flow that John Anderson had put into the song. Anyone can rhyme words but a flowing work of art is in the writers mind and soul and that mind and soul will translate to a commercial hit!

What I have just described for you is possible. If you imagine yourself as an artist and it is within you then there is a possibility that you may attain that goal. Or not! I never did. I wanted to be a Willie Nelson. Unfortunately, Nashville already had a Willie Nelson. However, I did write some pretty good funny songs and sometime later I used that “feeling” technique to use the same principles to write articles. You’re reading one right now. I “saw” myself as a writer, then screenwriting, and an Executive Producer for my own film company.

These things are all possible! Seeing yourself as a cat to the point of actually believing you are actually a cat is delusional. You can’t speciate any more than my Chihuahua, Cleo can become a Rottweiler, and she’s a damn site closer to that than you are to being a cat. And no law, no safe places and no feelings will ever change that! History is full of dedicated people achieving their dreams by setting realistic goals and patiently pursuing those goals until they enjoy them or a reasonable facsimile thereof but Caesar did not become Cleopatra!

The Woke movement is all or in part to disrupt American society. There are insidious forces out there in the world who would just love to have what you’ve got and if they can convince you that you are something that you are not they will see you as a fool and your mother as their bitch, and at this point that is a reasonable goal for Mr. Putin, Mr. Xi and all their apostles because right now they see America as low hanging fruit!



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